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Bedtime Reading 3000 words .IV
摩尔.弗兰德斯.Moll.Flanders
CHAPTER ONE
This story took place in England in the mid 1600's, although the book was written in the early 1700's. The main character, Moll Flanders, was born with no fortune or any parents to care for her, but throughout her life she had attempted to find a wealthy husband and a fortune for herself. She was determined to find wealth and live a comfortable life, but found many troubles all throughout.
My true name is well known at the Newgate prison, although for many years, I have used the name, Moll Flanders. Most, who know me well, know me by the name, Moll Flanders; very few people in this world know of my true name.
I have heard that in other nations, such as France, if a woman has a child while in prison, the government takes the child to a safe location where it is cared for and given clothing, meals, and schooling. When these children are grown they are able to find honest work for themselves. Unfortunately for me, England does not care for prisoners' children as other nations do.
My mother had been in prison for seven months
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before I was born. She would have been killed for her crime, but because she was to have a child, the government did not demand that she die. My mother was sent to prison for stealing a few pieces of cloth, quite an unimportant crime. When I was nearly six months old, the English government sent my mother to work in America. I was sent to live with various people who cared little for me.
Eventually, I came to Colchester, in southeastern England. I was sent to the church, although the people there did not help me, and I was still too young to work, nearly three years old. Finally, the leaders in the town pitied me, a young child with nothing. They took me to a woman who owned a little school where she taught children to read and to work. I stayed in that place, with that kind woman, until I was eight years old, when the leaders of the town declared that I should leave to find work. I was terrified to leave that sweet woman and her school, and cried quite often about having to leave. I asked the woman many times if I could stay, promising to work very well for her if she would allow me to stay. She finally agreed that I could live with her until I was older. I was still upset, however, knowing that I would eventually have to
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leave, the realised that I was still worried, which annoyed her.
"I told you that you will not go to work until you are bigger. Why are you still anxious?"she asked me, looking quite angry.
"Because I will have to finally leave. "
"What! Of course you'll have to leave eventually. Do you want to be a gentlewoman?"
"Yes. "I replied, and began to cry.
This amused her, as I did not realize what being a gentlewoman was. I understood that a gentlewoman was simply a woman who worked for herself and made enough money to take care of herself, needing no money from others. However, I later discovered that a gentlewoman is a woman of fortune and comfort. This dear woman thought I wanted to become a woman of fortune, not simply a young hard-working lady.
After this, she went to the mayor, the main leader of the town, to explain my story to him. He found the story to be quite amusing, as well, and told his wife and two daughters my ideas on work. They were quite curious about me, and decided to come to the school to meet me.
Soon enough, the mayor's wife and her two
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daughters came to the school, and asked to see the "gentlewoman," as they called me. They were quite amused, and decided that I would soon become a gentlewoman, indeed. They came to visit quite often, and usually gave me a shilling or two before leaving. Of course, I gave all the money I received to my dear nurse, the woman in charge of the school.
My dear nurse, however, was so honest that she would never spend the money on herself, but would use the money to buy me clothing or new gloves. She would always show what she bought to the young ladies who came to visit me, always calling me "the gentlewoman." The young ladies would then give me more money to buy more lovely things for the gentlewoman. The ladies would often bring their friends to come visit me, as I was quite well-known in the town now. Many of the ladies gave me clothes, as well as money.
Finally, one of the ladies grew to love me so well that she invited me to live with her family for a short time, to be with her daughters. Her daughters and I became dear friends, and we grew to love each other as sisters. Soon enough, however, I returned to the school, to be with my dear nurse for another year. I
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was now nearly fourteen years old, and was quite useful to my old nurse. Although, I did miss the comfort and fortune of the lady's home, living the rich life with her daughters for a short time. I wished to live there again.
Soon enough, my dear nurse became ill and died. The school was immediately closed, and I was to be sent to work, I was frightened, as I no longer had a home, or anyone to care for me. The kind lady and her daughters came to the school after they heard of my nurse's death. They asked that I go to live with them again. I, of course, agreed, and continued to live happily with that family till I was seventeen or eighteen years old.
I received the education of a true gentlewoman, as the daughters of the family had tutors to teach them French, dancing, and music. The girls were happy to teach me all they learned from their tutors. I learned quickly, and soon realised I had more talent than the lady's daughters. Many had told me, as well, that I was much more beautiful than the girls were. However, my beauty soon became quite troublesome to me.
This kind family had two sons as well. The elder brother was quite lively and handsome. He often told
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me of my incredible beauty, and proclaimed this, as well, to his sisters.
"Oh, Miss Betty, "he would say to me, "you must be the most beautiful young woman in Colch-ester."
"Oh, brother," his sister once said, "you must remember that if a young woman has beauty, manners, and talents, but has no money, she's nobody — nothing but money will allow her to marry a gentleman."
Her younger brother soon interrupted, " Stop speaking, sister, I am an exception, I care little for a woman's money. Besides, beauty will sometimes take a man's heart before money. "
I decided I must then leave the room, I felt quite uneasy listening to their conversation. I soon realised that as the brothers often spoke of my beauty and talents, the sisters envied me greatly. I never suspected what the sisters did that the younger brother was, indeed, in love with me. The elder brother, rather distant and silent, had joked with me about being in love with me, but I never thought about what he intended to do with me.
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CHAPTER TWO
One day, the elder brother came running up the stairs to see me while his sisters were in the garden. He came into the room quickly, looking quite anxious.
"Oh, Miss Betty,"he said, "I want to speak with you!" Then, he pulled me close to him and kissed me several times. I tried to escape, but he held me in his arms, continuing to kiss me. Then, he sat down with me, and said, "Dear Betty, I am in love with you."
I was delighted to hear such words, but I did not know what to reply, and so I was silent. His sisters soon returned from the garden, and he quickly left the room. I was quite pleased to hear such things from a gentleman, and soon decided that I was in love with the elder brother, as well. Unfortunately, I was honestly in love with him, but he was not truly in love with me, which I later discovered.
The next time his sisters were out, he came to find me again, and sat down on his sister's bed next to me. He told me again of how he loved me dearly, but could not marry me until he received his fortune, which he would not receive until his father died, as I had no
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money of my own. He planned to make me happy, though, until that time. I was a poor fool, then, however, as I believed that he would, indeed, marry me after he received his fortune, but he had no such plans. After we had spoken for a short time, he threw me down on the bed and began to remove my clothes. I was no longer an innocent young gentlewoman after that day. As he left the room, he kissed my cheek and placed five guineas in my hand. I was confused as to the reason for giving me the money, but was pleased with my new love.
After that time, the elder brother often found me when his sisters were out, and would make love to me, and each time he left, he would place four or five guineas in my hand. I was amazed at my new fortune, and was too foolish to realise that it was to ruin me. No one else in the family knew of our love affair. The elder brother and I spoke little to each other when others were present.
One afternoon, he found me alone, and quickly came into the room and closed the door. He began speaking quite seriously. He promised that he would never cheat me, and swore that he would marry me when he received his fortune. He declared that he
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would never leave me, as he was deeply in love with me. He then gave me a purse with a hundred guineas inside, explaining that he would give me one hundred guineas every year untii we were to be married. I worried that I might have a child, and he promised me that if I were to have a child, he would take care of me until we were married. We continued this way for half a year, although I was never with child.
One day, nearly half a year after beginning the love affair with the elder brother, the younger brother found me in the garden, and asked to speak with me. He declared that he sincerely loved me, and wanted to marry me. I was confused and anxious. I refused the offer of marriage many times after, as he often came to speak to me about his love for me. He admitted that his mother and father would be disappointed that he was willing to marry a woman with no fortune, but he was not concerned with that, He was in love with me, although I felt nothing for him, as I was truly in love with his elder brother, who I planned to marry.
His mother and sisters noticed that he was, indeed, in love with me, and became quite upset that he was interested in a woman with no fortune. Their behaviour changed, and they became quite cold to me.
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I was not surprised at their changed behaviour. I expected that I would soon be with child, and would have to leave the house, but that never happened.
The younger brother often spoke of his love for me to his mother and his sisters. They became increasingly upset with his new love for me. I was quite worried about what to tell the younger brother. I decided that I must speak with my lover about the matter. The next time we were alone together, my lover noticed that I had been crying.
I explained to my dear lover that his mother and sisters now acted quite differently in my presence. "I cannot explain why they have changed their opinion of me, who they formerly considered as one of their own children."
The elder brother smiled, then spoke, "They know nothing of our affair, but they believe my brother, Robin, makes love to you. He speaks of you often, declaring that he loves you and will soon marry you.
I began to cry, afraid to tell him of his brother's behaviour toward me. Soon after, however, the elder brother asked me again to tell him why I was crying. I then told him of his brother's conversations with me.
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My lover was quite surprised at this news. After a short silence, he told me that I should not accept his younger brother's offer of marriage at the present, but that I should not refuse him immediately. I was quite shocked at his words. I reminded him that I could not accept the offer, as I was nearly married to his elder brother.
"Well, my dear," he said, "don't worry about that now. If I am not your husband, I'll be as good as a husband to you, I'll soon speak to my brother about this matter, then we'll discuss this again."
The next time we spoke, the elder brother informed me that he had spoken to his brother,
"Well, Robin, do you honestly love the girl?" the elder asked his younger brother.
"I do love her more than any other woman in the world, I will marry that girl, and I believe she will not refuse my offer of marriage. "
I was shocked to hear this news. I could not refuse his offer without being forced to leave the house immediately. The family would be quite surprised as to my reasons for not agreeing to the marriage.
"I can refuse your brother," I told my lover, "I cannot accept, as I am to be your wife some day."
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"My dear," he said, looking anxious, "I will not receive my fortune for perhaps many years, as my father may live for a long time. I have been thinking about this matter for quite some time, and it upsets me as it does you. Perhaps, you should think of marrying my younger brother. He loves you, and will take care of you. You will live a comfortable life as a gentlewoman."
I was terrified to hear his words. He was quite calm as he spoke, attempting to persuade me to leave him to be with his own brother!
"This is impossible. I cannot simply fall in love with your brother. I have regarded you as my husband, and now you ask me to forget you to be with your brother because it is convenient. I would rather be your lover than your brother's wife!"
He was pleased to hear me declare this, but insisted that I must consider marrying his brother. He explained that if I refused his brother, and continued with him, we would both be ruined, but if I were to marry his brother, I could find happiness and comfort in life. We only had a little time to speak, as his mother and sisters soon returned to the house.
The next week, we did not have an opportunity to
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speak, although he noticed that I was quite upset and confused with this terrible situation. The next Sunday, however, we were again alone together in the house. He came to see me, and we argued again about his brother's offer of marriage. We were together for an hour and a half, after which be told me calmly that we could no longer be lovers, as I may soon be his sister.
T was hurt and lost, as I was deeply in love with the elder brother. T soon became quite ill, disturbed over the loss of my lover. I was kept in bed for nearly five weeks with a terrible fever. The doctors were confused, and concluded that I must be in love. With this news, the family continually asked me whether I was in love or not and with whom; but T denied being in love.
One evening while the family was having dinner, young Robin declared that my beauty and talents were far more than those of his sisters. His sisters became quite angry, and demanded that I leave the house immediately. I was, however, still ill, lying in bed, as I had been for five weeks.
"I believe, "said one of the sisters, "that if Betty is not in love, then my brother, Robin, certainly is."
Robin then declared that he was, indeed, in love
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with Miss Betty, and would soon ask her to marry him. Soon enough, the mother of the house came to speak with me about this matter. She asked that I answer her honestly about any affairs with her younger son, Robin. I told her sincerely that there had never been any affair between Robin and I. I told her that Mr, Robin had often joked with me, exclaiming that he was in love with me and wished to marry me, but I had never agreed.
The old lady was satisfied with my answer, and kissed me before returning to the family. She went downstairs to find her children still quite angry with each other, as young Robin had declared that Miss Betty was more talented and beautiful than his sisters. Their mother came downstairs as they were quarrelling. She told them that she had spoken to me, and explained to them that I had told her there was nothing between Mr. Robin and I.
"Miss Betty's wrong," replied Robin, "I spoke to her many times about my love for her, but she never believed that I was speaking honestly. "
"Well Robin," said his mother, "no one ever knows when you are speaking honestly, so please do tell us now. Are you truly in love with Miss Betty?"
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"Certainly," said Robin confidently, "if Betty said she loved me, I would marry her tomorrow."
"But, Robin," his mother said, looking anxious, "she has no fortune. How could you marry such a
woman?"
"Unfortunately, she would never agree to my offer of marriage. I have asked her many times, but she has refused me every time."
"Well, Miss Betty is no fool, and has no money, so that cannot be true. If a wealthy man were to offer her marriage, of course she would accept, having nothing herself, " interrupted his sister.
"Betty's no fool, but she has refused me, although I do not know why," said Robin.
"Who must it be, then? Who is Miss Betty in love with? She never leaves the house." said the other sister.
"You have asked me many questions already, so do not bother me with any more. Ask my brother, perhaps he knows, " said Robin, quite annoyed with his sisters.
The elder brother was shocked to hear this, and believed that his younger brother must have discovered the secret between he and Miss Betty. He was so upset
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that he immediately came to tell me of the news, thinking that I had, perhaps, told Robin of my love affair with his brother. I told him that I knew nothing of it. I told him that while I was ill, I had many times hoped that I would die, rather than recover. I informed him that after I recovered, I would leave the family, declaring that I would never agree to marry his brother. His sister then entered the room, and our conversation was over.
A few weeks after this, I recovered, and was quite well, although in complete sadness, which surprised the entire family, except the elder brother. Everyday, I expected that the family would ask me to leave, as the mother and daughters believed that, but they said nothing. We continued this way for another sixteen or seventeen weeks.
One evening, the old lady said, "Betty, I am afraid that what I said to you about my son has greatly upset you, and that you are upset because you are in love with him, Robin often proclaims his love for you, and declares that he will soon marry you, if you will accept his offer."
"I did not wish him to ask me to marry him. Although, he has asked me many times, I have always
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refused. I respect you and your husband too much to agree to such a marriage, as I have no fortune, and would, therefore, ruin him if we were to marry. "
"Is this possible, Miss Betty? If you are speaking the truth, then we have not been fair to you."
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"You must ask your son. He will explain that I do speak the truth."
CHAPTER THREE
She then left to tell her daughters of our conversation. They were quite surprised at hearing the news. The old lady called her youngest son to come speak with them, asking him about what I had told her. He explained to her that I spoke the truth.
"Miss Betty still refuses to marry me," he told them, "I have asked her five times since she recovered from her illness, but she refused me every time."
"I hope you are not speaking the truth,"said his mother, looking quite confused.
"I am, indeed, speaking the truth. She has refused me because she knows you would not agree to our marriage. Although, I am satisfied with her; I care little that she has no fortune."
His answer was surprising to them all. The mother and daughters felt terrible for their rude behaviour towards me, and regretted thinking that I had a love affair with their youngest brother.
"I shall not marry my dear Betty unless you agree to the marriage," Robin told his mother, "but I hope you will agree, as I will never marry another woman."
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I was quite upset to hear this news, as I feared the old woman would soon agree to the marriage, and I would be forced to marry a man I did not love, but had been his brother's lover, and was still in love with him.
Their mother asked the elder brother his opinion, and he argued that she must allow his brother to marry me. The father was too concerned with his business affairs to worry about family matters. Therefore, the decision was entirely given to the mother, who eventually agreed to allow Robin to marry me.
The elder brother then came to me to speak of the matter, insisting that I must not refuse his brother again.
"And now, " he told me, "you will be married to a gentleman of a good family with a good fortune to take care of you. If you do not agree to the marriage, however, you will live in poverty, known to have had lovers. No other man will consider marrying you. I shall always be your secret friend, but I will, as well, always be suspected as your lover, and so we will never meet," he paused, but quickly continued. "Our past love affair will always remain a secret. I beg you to consider marrying my brother; you will be safe and comfortable," and he added, "I here offer you five
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hundred pounds for the trouble I have caused you, which I hope you will forgive me for."
He then told me that if I refused his brother, he could not continue to be my lover. He still loved me, but he could not make love to a woman that his brother had asked to become his wife.
I was surprised to hear this, as I still loved him dearly. He begged me to consider marrying his brother, and to think of my future life of comfort if I did so. I was terrified by this news, as I had no other friends outside of that town. If I did refuse the brother, I could never remain living in that town, and would be forced to leave immediately, but I feared agreeing to a marriage to my lover's brother.
I then decided that I must marry the younger brother, to save myself from poverty and suffering.
After the mother agreed to the marriage, we were soon quietly married. The elder brother made certain that the younger brother was quite drunk when he came to meet me in our bed, and could remember nothing the next morning. I sincerely regretted having cheated such an honest, loving man, but he was truly in love with me, and I could not tell him that I was his brother's former lover.
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We were married happily for the next five years, and had two children together. At the end of the five years, he died. He had been a very good husband to me, although he had quite a small fortune himself. I had kept the 500 pounds that his brother had offered me to agree to marry his brother, and had a total of 1,200 pounds when my husband died. My two children were taken happily by the family, and I left the family.
I must admit that I was not too upset at my husband's death, as I never loved him as a wife should love her husband. His brother was always there to remind me of my first love. Before my husband died, his elder brother was married. My husband went to the wedding, but I could not bear to see my former lover married to another woman, and so I did not attend the wedding.
After the death of my husband, I was still quite young and beautiful, with a small fortune of my own. Several gentlemen were interested in me, particularly one, whose house I was living in, after my husband's death, as his sister was a friend of mine. I enjoyed myself with my new fortune and freedom. I decided that I now must be married, and be married to a wealthy man, or not at all.
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This young man, whose sister was a dear friend, wished that I would become his lover, but I realised that [ must never make the mistake of becoming his lover, as I had my own fortune. He soon became my husband, and spent my small fortune as he pleased, and rather quickly.
Two years later, my fortune was almost all spent, and he went to jail for some silly crime. I went to see him there, where he told me that he would soon escape from the jail, but would leave the country immediately. He told me to sell our furniture and jewellry, and to save the money myself. If I did not hear from him within a few months, I should believe him to be dead.
"I wish you well; I am sorry to cause you this pain, "he told me during our visit.
After selling our things, I discovered my fortune was much smaller than two years ago, as I now had only 500 pounds left. Although, I had only myself to care for; our child had died soon after its birth.
My husband had many unpaid bills, and I feared my small fortune would be taken to pay them, so I immediately left, taking another name for myself, Mrs. Flanders, I soon found a room to rent far from where my husband and I had lived, and told the new
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people I met that my husband had recently died. These new people in my life did not know my real name or anything about my past.
I soon discovered that there were few women in that area, but a great many men, several of whom were interested in me. I decided that I must be careful, and guard myself. I could not begin a love affair with a man, and not have the security of him taking care of me. My fortune was small, and I had to be more careful than I had been in the past. I had learned not to trust a man's promises. I stayed in this new place for a short time, but soon learned that these new men who seemed so interested in me could not be trusted. They were more evil than I was, and the little fortune T had was quickly being spent, which terrified me, I would soon have nothing, and no one to help me,
I had become close to a woman whose husband had died, as well, but she had more of a fortune than I had. Her husband had been the captain of a ship, but had died at sea. She discovered that I had little money myself, and soon suggested that I go stay with her, explaining that I would immediately meet a wealthy ship captain who would marry me. I lived with her for half a year before she found a wealthy ship captain to
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marry. I, unfortunately, had not found a wealthy captain to marry me, but realised that my small fortune was quickly decreasing. It seems that ship captains were willing to marry women of fortune, with no concern for love. My sister-in-law at Colchester had said that beauty, manners, good behaviour, and education were not important without a fortune. I discovered that she was correct, as no man would marry me without a fortune to give them, even if the man had no money himself.
The women, however, did not have the choice to refuse an offer of marriage. If a man were refused, he would go to the next house, and surely be accepted. Besides this, I observed that a woman could not ask about the man's own fortune without angering him terribly. I learned this from a lady at the next house to
me.
A young ship captain had become quite interested in her, with her 2,000-pound fortune. She was fond of him, as well, and soon asked about his fortune. He was not pleased with such questions, and quickly told her so, explaining that he would no longer continue to visit her.
She told me this story, and seemed quite worried
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about the situation, as she cared for him deeply, and wanted him to return. I explained that if she took my advice, he would soon return to her. She quickly agreed. I told her that she must first proclaim to the other ladies that she had discovered him to be quite an evil man, with no fortune and a terrible humour. He had announced to the other ladies in town that he had left her, but she must explain her story quickly to save herself from embarrassment.
As the other women in town discovered the news, I assured them that her story was correct, which proved the information to be true. Soon enough, her father and mother refused to allow the young man to visit her. He began to take interest in other women in town, but they all strongly refused him, as they believed him to be without a fortune. The captain could attract no women, and was soon laughed at by everyone in town, particularly by other ship captains. He immediately realised the terrible mistake he made, and returned to beg her to forgive him. She explained to him coldly that she did not wish to continue with him, as she now knew of his terrible character. He wrote her loving letters, attempted to visit her often, and even delivered her documents proving that he, indeed, was a
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wealthy captain of his own ship. After many questions about his wealth and Jove for her, she finally accepted his offer of marriage, although she refused to allow him any information about her fortune. He happily obeyed, and they were soon married.
I decided that I, too, must find a good husband, but must not agree to a marriage until I was certain of my husband's good character. I told my friend of my plans, the captain's new wife, who I had helped. I had only 460 pounds left of my fortune, aside from some jewellry. My dear friend advised me that if I would trust her, she would help me find a husband very soon. I agreed, and she soon invited me to stay with her and her husband in town. She then told her husband that I had a fortune of at least 1,500 pounds; and would soon have more. He then proclaimed to the other captains in town that there was a woman of fortune living with him and his wife, whose husband had just died. I did not speak about this matter, but soon many others were told of my great wealth, and I immediately had several men interested in me.
I chose a handsome young man, who declared that he was in love with me, and wanted only to marry me. I told him I was poor, but he paid no attention to those
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words; perhaps he did not believe me. Although he asked me no question about my fortune, I did ask him a bit about his, as I had heard from the other ladies that he owned land in Virginia, far away in the western side of America. I politely told him that I was not fond of travelling across the ocean to live in America, He then told me of all his business affairs, explaining that he had a yearly income of 300 pounds, but if he lived on the land, he could make nearly 1,200 pounds. I told him that I did not have a fortune suitable for a gentleman of 1,200 pounds a year. He replied that he would not ask what my fortune was; he told me from the beginning that he would not. He promised me, however, that we would not go to Virginia if I did not desire to go.
I was quite content with his words. I decided that he would make a good husband, and would not be too disappointed at my small fortune, as I had told him many times that I was no wealthy gentlewoman. We were soon married, and very happily married. I did soon find out that his income in Virginia was much less than 300 pounds per year, but I was satisfied still.
After we were married, my husband still did not ask about my fortune, so I decided to discuss it with
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him when we were alone.
"My dear, " I said, "we have been married for two weeks, and you still have not spoken to me about my fortune."
"You must tell me when you wish to, my dear," he told me, "I am satisfied that I have the wife I love. "
"That is true," I said, "but I have been worried lately, as I heard that the other captains have told you I am quite a wealthy gentlewoman. "
"Well," he said, "the others may have told me, perhaps, but you never told me of your fortune, so I have no reason to blame you. "
I then gave him 160 pounds, telling him, "Here is something, my dear."
Though the money was little, he had previously believed that I had nothing, and was delighted with the money I placed in his hand. He then told me that he had supposed that my fine clothes, gold watch, and my diamond ring had been all my fortune.
For the next two or three days, I said nothing, but then went to fetch another 100 pounds from the bank to give him. A week later, I brought him another 240 pounds.
"And now, my dear," I said to him, "I am very
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sorry to tell you that I have given you my whole fortune. My husband that had died took 600 pounds from me before he died, otherwise I would be a gentlewoman with 1,000 pounds,"
He was pleased with the 400 pounds I gave him, as he had worried that I had nothing to give him. And so, I cheated a man into marrying me, but was never caught. Although, this manner of deceiving a husband into marriage is quite dangerous for a woman.
My husband was a good man who loved and respected me, but he was no fool. He had expected me to have a wealthier fortune, but after discovering my true fortune, he began to speak of his land in Virginia, explaining that we could make a great deal of money if we moved there. I did not want to disappoint my new husband in his choice for a wife, thus I told him we must move to Virginia to make a suitable income for ourselves. He was delighted with my decision.
We went on board a ship, with furniture and clothing for our new lives in Virginia. After a long and dangerous trip across the seas, we arrived. We lived together with his dear, sweet mother. My husband continued to be loving and respectful, and I thought we would live this way for many years, until an
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unfortunate incident ended all my happiness in a moment.
My mother was quite a cheerful woman. She told me many stories of her past to entertain me. She also explained that most people in the town came to America as either servants with their masters, or they were prisoners in England, found guilty of crimes, punishable by death, but were sent here, instead. They spent many years serving their masters, but then were freed, and promised land from the government.
"So, child," she said, "many prisoners from Newgate become great leaders in this country."
She then told me that she was of the second group, sent here from prison, after being found guilty of a small crime. She often told me about her past experience in prison, among other stories about her life, I was shocked to discover that she had spent time in Newgate, and was to be killed in prison for her crime, but was not killed, as she gave birth to a child seven months after entering the prison. After some time, she was then sent to America as a servant for many years. Her master's wife died, and her master quickly married her. She had two children, my husband and his sister. After hearing this story, I was
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silent for some time before asking her name while in prison. She told me, and I immediately realised that my husband's mother, was the same mother that gave birth to me in Newgate prison. I felt ill, and could not speak.
This discovery changed me. I was no longer living in happiness with my gentle husband and his cheerful mother as I had for the past three years. I already had two children by my own brother, and would soon give birth to another, I worried all day and all night about this terrible situation. I could not tell my mother of this discovery. I had no way to prove my story that she was my mother, as well as my husband's. My husband would never believe me either, as he thought me to be a woman of fortune and comfort my entire life. I was too afraid to tell them; I was in a new country with no friends but my mother and husband, or brother. Soon after my discovery, our marriage became unbearable. I refused to sleep in my husband's bed; he became angry and unkind after my behaviour had changed.
I reminded him of his promise before we came to America, that if I was not satisfied with my life in Virginia, I was free to return to England. I declared that I must return to England, insisting that he treated
38
me badly and I was too far from my friends. He attempted to persuade me to stay, reminding me of my love for my children, but I continued to demand that I leave for England immediately. My mother, as well, tried to persuade me to remain in Virginia.
Finally, however, he became so upset with me, and my continual requests to leave, that he told me that I would never be allowed to leave him. He explained that if I left, my children would have no mother, and the family would suffer. After carefully considering my husband's views, I realised that he did not know the terrible secret I did, and was a hard-working, caring man, and believed this decision was the most suitable for his family. No wife that cared about her family would desire to leave, but I no longer saw him as my husband, but looked upon him as a brother, the son of my own mother. Therefore, I continued to insist that I leave for England. Finally, he called me a terrible mother, asking me how I could imagine leaving my children, never to see them again. He was correct, but I could not bear looking at them, nor could I look at him, my own brother.
My husband still refused; he would neither go with me nor let me go without him. We quarreled
39
often; I was as disrespectful and hurtful as possible to force him to let me leave. At last, he proclaimed that if my terrible behaviour continued, he would send me to a crazy house. This terrified me, as I knew that if I was sent to such a place, no one would believe my story of my husband being my brother, as well.
After he threatened to hit me, I told him that perhaps there was a secret about our marriage that he did not understand, which forced me to act as I did, I then admitted that he was not my husband by law, although neither of us should be blamed. When I told him this news, he turned pale, and was soon ill.
A few days later, after he recovered from his illness, he begged me to explain to him the reason we were not legally married. I explained that I would tell him nothing unless he would agree to let me return to England. He refused. He begged his mother to find out the mystery; she insisted for quite some time, although I told her the secret involved her, as well. She was astonished to hear such things. Finally, I told my mother the story of my life, beginning at Newgate prison, born into her arms. She was shocked and silent for some time before she exclaimed, "Unhappy child! What a terrible situation! Married to your own
40
brother, having three children together, two of whom are still alive! "Before she left, she promised she would not tell my brother before we spoke again.
CHAPTER FOUR
We did not speak about the terrible news for a great while. When we did speak again about our terrible situation, my mother argued that my brother and T should continue to live as husband and wife, and I should forget this unpleasant knowledge. I refused, however, as I knew I could not hear living with my own brother as husband and wife. My mother and I knew that if others discovered this news, our family would be ruined. She promised that she would leave me part of her fortune after her death, to calm me, but I disagreed with her answer to my frightening problem. I explained that if she died, no one else would believe my story, so I must return to England myself. Then, I told her how he had already threatened to put me into a crazy house, which had terrified me.
I told my mother that the only way for me to live was to return to England. I could not bear living with my brother as my husband. I suggested that my mother try to persuade her son to allow me to return to England, then explain the terrible secret to her son after I had left. She insisted that he would never allow
44
me to leave, and I explained that I could not continue to live as my brother's wife. We continued to quarrel on this subject for quite some time.
At last, I decided that I must tell him. I could not bear living with him any longer. I told my mother of my plans; she was frightened, but I promised her that I would be gentle and careful in telling him. Finally, he promised me that he would not be angry about the news I was to tell him, and so I continued.
"Well, then," I said, "it is this: As I told you before that I was not your legal wife, so I must tell you now that we are not legal husband and wife because I am your own sister and you my own brother. We are both the children of our mother, now alive and in this house."
I saw him turn pale and look terrified. I waited a few moments for him to recover, then explained my discovery in detail. My poor brother suffered greatly after finding out this terrible news. After some time, he agreed to let me return to England, offering me supplies and money to take back to England. I immediately left for my home country with a good fortune. Unfortunately, however, my supplies and a great part of my fortune were lost at sea, as there were
45
many storms along the way. I arrived in England, eight years after I had left for America. Now, however, I was alone, with a small fortune between two and three hundred pounds left, and no friends to help me. My friend that had helped me find my last husband, or my brother, was dead, as was her husband, as well.
I went to a small town outside of London, and soon found a room in the house of a kind woman. She realised that I had quite a small fortune, and did not ask me to pay rent during the winter months, which I greatly appreciated. At that time, a handsome gentleman came to stay in the same house, and showed a great interest in me, as the woman who owned the house told me. This man was quite a gentleman towards me. I soon told him that my husband had recently died, and I had just arrived from Virginia, but had lost part of my fortune during the voyage. The lady who owned the house told me that he often stayed at her home, but had a wife in a crazy house. They had not lived together as husband and wife in quite some time.
He often came into my room during the night, and I into his, but did nothing more than kiss me on the
46
cheek. He was quite a modest gentleman, which delighted me. The woman who owned the house explained that he was a gentleman of great fortune and honour. She encouraged me to continue a friendship with the man.
After some time, I told him of my lost fortune. One day, he invited me into his room, and showed me a purse full of guineas. He asked me to take a handful of coins. I was confused at the request, but he repeated himself, begging me to trust him. Finally, I put my hand into his purse, and counted 50 guineas in my hand.
We lived together in this house for nearly three months before he began speaking of moving to London, asking me if I would go with him. I was uneasy about such a move, as I did not know his reason for inviting me. I had little fortune and no friends in the city. Therefore, I could not allow myself to be cheated. During the weeks that we were discussing his invitation to move to London, he became quite ill during a trip to another town. He sent a note to me, begging me to go visit him. I did go see him, and persuaded him to return to Bath, where I cared for him for five weeks as a loving wife would.
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During his recovery, I moved my bed into his room, so I could care for him day and night. After he was cured, he gave me a present of fifty guineas for caring for him so tenderly. After he fully recovered, my bed was removed from his room, although he asked that I continue to sleep next to him in his bed. We slept in the same bed as brother and sister for over two years, as he promised me that I was not his mistress, but a dear friend.
"And now, my dear, "he said, "you shall see how fair I will be to you, and that I can keep my word, "as he came into my bed.
And he did not break his promise; we lived almost like husband and wife, quite content with each other until one night. We had both drunk a great deal of wine earlier in the evening, and when we went to bed, I told him that I would allow him to break his promise only on that night. He agreed; and so, we were no longer dear friends, as we became lovers that night. The next morning, we were both upset with ourselves for our terrible behaviour, but we still continued as lovers.
Some time after we began our love affair, I discovered that I was with child, and later gave birth to a son. I was quite worried about my situation, as I had
48
very little money. My lover, however, promised me that I should not worry. He declared that he would always care for our son and myself, but we could not marry, as his wife was still alive, although still in a crazy house.
When my lover and I were quite sure that I was with child, I told the lady of the house. She was not surprised by this news, as she knew I would eventually be with child. She found me a nurse and cared for me while I waited to give birth to my child. She told my lover he should go to London during this time, so others would not discover our secret.
Soon after the darling child was born, I sent him a letter to announce the birth of our child. He was delighted with the news, and suggested that I come to London as soon as I recovered, I quickly prepared to leave, along with my dear child, the baby's nurse, and a servant. My lover had found a house for us to live in. I had never before lived in such wealth, and was quite pleased with my new situation. I knew, however, that this perfect happiness could end immediately, as I understood that men often grow tired of their mistresses. I worried often about him leaving me, as I would have no fortune to live on. I lived this way,
50
happy but unhappy, during which time I gave birth to three children, but only the first of them lived.
One morning, after six years of living in this manner, I received a letter from him (he had been away on business). He explained that he was quite ill, but was being taken care of by his wife's relatives. Although, he admitted, he wished that I was there to cure him, instead of his wife's family. For the next two weeks, I heard nothing. After this time, I became quite concerned that he had not written. Another two weeks passed, and I became increasingly frightened at not hearing from my dear lover.
At this time, I found out his location, dressed myself as a servant, and went to his home. I discovered, from several of his servants, that the doctors said my poor lover might soon die. This worried me considerably, as I had little money to live on with our young child, although I had saved quite a bit of the money he had given me throughout the years.
The next month, however, I found out that he had recovered, and had left the city to rest in the countryside. Some time later, I discovered that he had recently returned to the city. I was content with that news, and believed that he would soon come to see me.
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I waited a week, and two weeks, and with much surprise nearly two months, and heard nothing. Another two months passed; I wrote him several letters, explaining my hopeless situation, begging him to come see our son and I. Finally, he responded to the last letter I had sent to him, although I only found out that he was leaving me. He told me that he had sent a letter to me some time before, desiring me to return to Bath to live, but I had not received that letter. He explained that during his illness, he had realised his terrible wrong in having a mistress. As he recovered, he decided that he would end our love affair, and never see me again. He felt terrible for leaving me alone with our child, but he could not continue, as his wife was still alive, and now lived with him and her family. And here is the letter I had waited so long to receive: Madam,
I am surprised that my letter, dated the 8th of last month, was not received by you; I promise you that it was delivered to your home, and given to your maid.
I do not need to explain my illness to you, as I am quite sure you have discovered the news about how I was rather close to death, but have recovered
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completely. You should not be surprised to hear that our love affair has upset me greatly, and I have thought of it quite often during my illness. I will not say more; our mistake must end now and forgotten forever.
I wish you would think of going back to Bath. With this letter, I have also given you 50 pounds as payment for the apartment for the last few? months. I hope it will not surprise you to say that I can see you no more. I will take care of the child; leave him where he is or take him with you. I hope you have had the same thoughts about our love affair, I believe your life will improve now that we are not in such a terrible situation.
This letter hurt me with a thousand wounds. I had known, even before our love affair began, that I would suffer in the end, as I now was. He had realized his evil doings, regretted them, and was now content with himself and his life. I, however, was the evil temptation he had given up, who he would think of with hatred.
I lived the next month in my sadness. I did not return to Bath; I was afraid the woman, whose house I had lived at, would persuade me into an evil affair
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again, as she had done with my lover. Besides, I did not want her to discover that he had left me.
And now, I was rather confused about what to do with my little boy. I would rather die than leave him, and yet I knew that we would both be in great danger if I traveled with him alone. T then decided to leave him; but then I concluded that I must be near him, too. So, I sent my gentleman a short letter that I had obeyed his orders, and would leave the child for him to care for, as I did not have the wealth to take care of our little boy. I asked that he give me 50 pounds to return to my mother in Virginia, as my gentleman knew that I had come from there when I met him. I then promised that I would never contact him again if he would send the 50 pounds. I did not plan to return to Virginia, however, but I knew that his 50 pounds would be the last I would receive, I intended to remain close to my son, to watch over him as he grew.
He sent me the 50 pounds, and our affair was finished. We had begun as close friends, but our desire for each other ended our simple life together, to eventually make me suffer, losing my lover and my dear boy.
I was now a single person again, as I had not
54
heard from my husband who had left the country for fifteen years. With the 50 pounds my gentleman had sent me, I now had a small fortune of nearly 400 pounds. I should have had 500 pounds, but I lost 100 pounds doing business with quite an evil man, who stole my money. Now, I was in quite a different situation, being single, but much older, as I was forty-two years old. I looked younger than my true age, but I certainly did not look like a young woman, who could easily find a husband to marry.
I thought very carefully about what to do with my life, with no one in the world to care for me if I lost my fortune. I soon discovered that having no friends was the worst of problems for a woman. Men are able to conduct their own business and work for themselves, but women are not allowed that freedom. It seems that the more money a woman has, the more danger she is in of losing her fortune. I understood this problem, as I had lost 100 pounds through being cheated. I was now alone again in the world, with no one to guide or help me. I knew what I wanted, but I knew nothing about how to obtain it. I wanted to be settled in a place with no secret worries. If I had found an honest, good husband, I would have been a true, honorable wife to
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him. I was only evil and dishonest when I was in need. If I was never without money or had friends to help me, I would never have become the evil person that I have become. I would be a better wife, given the many difficulties I have had. During the times I was married, my husbands never worried about my behaviour, as I was always an excellent wife.
But .all this was nothing; I found nothing to encourage me now. I waited; I lived carefully, spending very little money. I was terrified that I would soon be poor, with no one to help me. I had some money, but I did not know where to keep it safe.
After some time, an opportunity came to me. I was living in a house with a gentlewoman from the northern countryside. She often spoke about how inexpensive it was to live in the northern countryside, and how honest the people there were. After hearing such things quite often, I began to think of moving there. I told her she almost tempted me to go and live there; for I was now a widow, and had to be careful with my small fortune, and that I spent nearly 100 pounds a year living in London, with no servant and never leaving my home.
She was surprised when I told her this, as she had
57
believed, like everyone else, that I was a woman of great fortune. She was pleased, however, to hear that I might be interested in going to her part of the country. She told me that she was leaving to visit her sister in Liverpool in two months, and suggested that I join her. She said her sister would be delighted to meet me, and if I was pleased with the city, she would easily find me cheap housing there with a family. I happily agreed to visit the city with her, hoping that what she told me was the truth, as I was now greatly disturbed about my living situation.
I had no one to advise me in how to keep my money safe. I was quite worried that I would one day be robbed of my small fortune, I was afraid to ask someone to help me, as if my money was lost or stolen, I would have nothing.
One morning, however, I went to the bank on business where I met an honest clerk who had corrected me when I had taken out less money than I should have. He could have not told me, and kept the money for himself, but instead, he very respectfully told me of my mistake and gave me the correct amount.
I went to him and asked if he would be my adviser, who was a poor, friendless woman whose
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husband had died. He told me that if I desired his opinion on anything, he would help me, and that he would not cheat me. I thought for a moment, then agreed. He explained that he had another clerk friend who would be able to help me more than he could, but promised that his friend was as honest as he was, and I should not fear being cheated.
"You will be satisfied with my friend, just as you are with me. He is thoroughly able to help you, which I am not."
It seems that he was quite busy with his bank work, and would not conduct business other than his bank work. He explained that his friend would charge me nothing for his advice, and this indeed encouraged me. That same evening, I met him and his friend. As soon as I met his friend, I knew he was as honest as the other, and trusted him immediately. Afterwards, I heard from others that he was, indeed, a sincere and honorable man.
After the first meeting, he told me to come the next day to discuss my situation further. The following day, I told him quite a hit more about my story, explaining that I was a widow who had returned from America, with no friends or family, and that I had a
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little money, but I was quite afraid of losing it. Having no friend to trust with the little money I had, I would be willing to leave my money in the bank, but did not know how to reclaim it while living in the north of England, where I would soon be going. He told me that I could easily keep my money safe in the bank as an account, from which I could take money out of in the north or in London.
He was quite honest and sweet with me, and I thought once or twice that he was interested in me. At last, however, I discovered he had a wife, but when he admitted that he did, indeed, have a wife, he looked quite disappointed and said that he had a wife, and no wife. I began to think that perhaps his wife was in a crazy house, as was the wife of my former lover, but we had no more time to speak of it. He asked that I meet him at his house for our next meeting to discuss my business affairs. I agreed to go, and desired to know where he lived.
"If you trust yourself with me," he said after he told me the way to his home.
"Yes, sir," said I, "I believe I should trust you with myself, for you have a wife, and I don't want a husband. Besides, I trust you with my money, which
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is all I have."
When I met him at his home, he suggested several times that I place my money in the bank, although he explained all the dangers of such a choice. I realised, as he spoke, that I had certainly found the honest man I wanted. I told him sincerely that I had never met a manor woman I could trust more than him.
He smiled, and told me that he was delighted to hear that I had so good an opinion of him. He promised he would not cheat me, and he would help me any way he could, but expected no salary from me. I explained that I had no family left, and that if I died, my fortune would be his, payment for being so faithful and true to me.
That evening, he admitted that he wished he was single, so we could marry. I smiled and told him that he was not.
He told me I was wrong, "for," said he, "as I said before, I have a wife and no wife, and it would not be evil to wish her dead."
"I know nothing about that situation, sir, but it cannot be honest to wish your wife dead. '
"I have told you," said he again, "she is a wife and no wife. You don't understand how terrible a wife
62
she is."
"That's true," said I, "I believe you to be an honest man, so I trust what you tell me. "
"Well," said he, "she has cheated me, as she has had love affairs with other men, while we were married."
"Now, I better understand your anger," I told him, after a short silence. "You are too kind to her to call her your wife still."
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CHAPTER FIVE
I attempted to talk about my business affairs, but he was not listening. Instead, he continued speaking with anger about his wife, telling me that while he had been out of England on business for two years, his wife had had two children with another man. When her husband had returned, he had forgiven her, and they lived together again as husband and wife. Soon enough, however, his wife left him for another man, robbing her husband of his money before she left.
"So, " said he, "she is a thief and a liar not because she needed to, but because she is truly evil.
Well, I pitied him and hoped he would soon leave his wife, but I still tried to talk to him about business, but he desired only to speak of his wife.
At last, he looked at me and asked, "You, madam, came to ask advice of me, and I will help you, but I must ask you to advise me, as well. Tell me, what shall I do with my evil wife?"
" It seems that she has run away from you, thus no longer your wife; what more do you desire?"
"Yes, she is gone, indeed, " said he, "but I would
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like to marry again. "
"Well, sir, " said I, "then you must divorce her. If you can prove what she did to you, then you are free from her."
"That can be expensive, " said he.
"Well, if your wife is to blame for your failed marriage, then you must be divorced. Then, you are free to find an honest woman to marry. n
"I must ask you a question, then," he said, then paused, "I desire that you shall be the woman I marry, or I will not be divorced. "
I was delighted to hear him say these words, but I knew that I must wait until after he was divorced to agree to the marriage, which would certainly persuade him to end his marriage quickly. Meanwhile, I would go to the north of London to live cheaply. The next evening, I met him at his home again. He asked me to sign an agreement, promising that when he was finally divorced, I would return to London, and we would be married. I told him I would not sign the contract, but that I would allow him to write to me in the north of England, Although I did not tell him, I refused to sign the agreement because my friend who was to take me to the north of England had promised me fortune and
66
wealthy husbands there, which I planned to find out about.
My friend and I soon left for Liverpool. We stayed together for nearly six weeks, often receiving visits from her brother. After this time, I was taken to a cottage outside the city to live, where her brother often came to see me. Soon enough, he became my lover, telling me often of his great fortune. His sister explained that he had an income of 1,000 pounds a year, in addition to a great amount of land in Ireland, where he usually lived.
I looked like a gentlewoman of great fortune, with many fine clothes and a few servants to care for me, although I had never told my friend of my wealth. She had, however, believed my fortune not to be 500 pounds, which it was, but to be 5,000 pounds. Later, she declared it to be 15,000 pounds to the people in Liverpool.
Soon enough, her brother and I were married, although I continued to write to the gentleman clerk in London, who was hurriedly obtaining a divorce. I felt terrible for cheating him, but my friend persuaded me to marry her brother, promising me a life of comfort and wealth. The love affair happened quickly, during
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which the sister immediately persuaded me to marry her brother.
After we had been married about a month, he began speaking more often of moving to Ireland, where he owned quite a bit of land. We soon decided that we would go to Ireland to live. A short time before we were to leave, my husband asked me if I had to go to the Bank of England for my business affairs. I was quite confused as to his reason for asking me this question; I had never done business in the Bank of England.
"Madam," said he, very respectfully, "my sister has told me that your fortune is safe in the Bank of England, but perhaps you would like to take your money with you to Ireland, where you will be living." I was still quite confused, and told him that I had no money in the Bank of England. I decided that I must speak to his sister before I left for a strange country where I knew no one.
The next morning, I explained to her what her brother had asked me. She admitted that I had never told her my fortune was in the Bank of England or that I did, indeed, have a great fortune.
"When I first met you, I explained that I wished
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to go to the country, where I could live quite cheaply. How could you still believe me to be a woman of fortune after I admitted that?" I asked her, just as my husband came into the room. I asked him to sit down with his sister and I; he looked worried.
"Well, my dear," I said to him, "someone has cheated you, but it was not me, I promise you. I never told you I had a great fortune, and I should tell you now that, in fact, I am not a gentlewoman of fortune. We have both been cheated, my dear, as I never told your sister I had a fortune. "
He now looked scared and wild. He was silent, but after some time, he stood up, red in the face, screaming at his sister, although I soon discovered that she had been his mistress for two years. He was to pay her 500 pounds for persuading me to marry him. He declared that she had ruined him, exclaiming that she had told him I had 15,000 pounds. She cried. He had spent all the money he had so he looked like a gentleman of fortune, and now had nothing left. He screamed at her more; she cried again, saying that she had been told about my fortune at the house in London where we met. This only upset him more.
"Well, my dear," he said to me tenderly, "we are
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both ruined, as I have no fortune. The little money I did have, this devil woman forced me to spend so I would look like a gentleman of fortune."
I was silent now, confused at what he was saying to me. But soon, I began to speak, "We are married, but you have cheated me, having told me that you had a great fortune when you did not. If I had had a great fortune, I would have been cheated out of it, as you say you have nothing."
"You would, indeed, have been cheated, my dear," said he, "but 15,000 pounds is a great deal of money for us both to live on. Besides, I had decided to spend my life making you happy. I would have spent your fortune only to make you comfortable. "
This was very honest, indeed, and I really believe he spoke the truth. He was a man who could make me quite happy, I knew. However, we had no money to live on, which worried my husband and I greatly. The next day was filled with sadness, but my husband seemed a bit happier after dinner. I was still angry with that foolish woman for attempting to cheat me, but I was no longer upset with my husband. He was, indeed, a good husband and a true gentleman, although still a gentleman without a fortune. We had a great deal
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of conversation that night, as neither of us could sleep. He felt terrible for cheating me, and offered me the little money he had, but I could not accept it, or he would have nothing for himself.

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