In his Grace of Leeds's good company.
She shall have all that's fine and fair,
And the best of silk and sattin shall wear;
And ride in a coach to take the air,
And have a house in St. James's-square[50]."
To hear a man, of the weight and dignity of Johnson, repeating such
humble attempts at poetry, had a very amusing effect. He, however,
seriously observed of the last stanza repeated by him, that it nearly
comprized all the advantages that wealth can give.'
'An eminent foreigner, when he was shewn the British Museum, was very
troublesome with many absurd inquiries. "Now there, Sir, (said he,) is
the difference between an Englishman and a Frenchman. A Frenchman must
be always talking, whether he knows any thing of the matter or not; an
Englishman is content to say nothing, when he has nothing to say."'
'His unjust contempt for foreigners was, indeed, extreme. One evening,
at old Slaughter's coffee-house[51], when a number of them were talking
loud about little matters, he said, "Does not this confirm old
Meynell's[52] observation--_For any thing I see, foreigners are
fools_[53]."'
'He said, that once, when he had a violent tooth-ach, a Frenchman
accosted him thus:--_Ah, Monsieur vous etudiez trop_[54].'
'Having spent an evening at Mr. Langton's with the Reverend Dr. Parr, he
was much pleased with the conversation of that learned gentleman; and
after he was gone, said to Mr. Langton, "Sir, I am obliged to you for
having asked me this evening. Parr is a fair man. I do not know when I
have had an occasion of such free controversy. It is remarkable how much
of a man's life may pass without meeting with any instance of this kind
of open discussion[55]."'
'We may fairly institute a criticism between Shakspeare and
Corneille[56], as they both had, though in a different degree, the
lights of a latter age. It is not so just between the Greek dramatick
writers and Shakspeare. It may be replied to what is said by one of the
remarkers on Shakspeare, that though Darius's shade[57] had
_prescience_, it does not necessarily follow that he had all _past_
particulars revealed to him.'
'Spanish plays, being wildly and improbably farcical, would please
children here, as children are entertained with stories full of
prodigies; their experience not being sufficient to cause them to be so
readily startled at deviations from the natural course of life[58]. The
machinery of the Pagans is uninteresting to us[59]: when a Goddess
appears in Homer or Virgil, we grow weary; still more so in the Grecian
tragedies, as in that kind of composition a nearer approach to Nature is
intended. Yet there are good reasons for reading romances; as--the
fertility of invention, the beauty of style and expression, the
curiosity of seeing with what kind of performances the age and country
in which they were written was delighted: for it is to be apprehended,
that at the time when very wild improbable tales were well received, the
people were in a barbarous state, and so on the footing of children, as
has been explained.'
'It is evident enough that no one who writes now can use the Pagan
deities and mythology; the only machinery, therefore, seems that of
ministering spirits, the ghosts of the departed, witches[60], and
fairies, though these latter, as the vulgar superstition concerning them
(which, while in its force, infected at least the imagination of those
that had more advantage in education, though their reason set them free
from it,) is every day wearing out, seem likely to be of little further
assistance in the machinery of poetry. As I recollect, Hammond
introduces a hag or witch into one of his love elegies, where the effect
is unmeaning and disgusting[61].'
'The man who uses his talent of ridicule in creating or grossly
exaggerating the instances he gives, who imputes absurdities that did
not happen, or when a man was a little ridiculous describes him as
having been very much so, abuses his talents greatly. The great use of
delineating absurdities is, that we may know how far human folly can go;
the account, therefore, ought of absolute necessity to be faithful. A
certain character (naming the person) as to the general cast of it, is
well described by Garrick, but a great deal of the phraseology he uses
in it, is quite his own, particularly in the proverbial comparisons,
"obstinate as a pig," &c., but I don't know whether it might not be true
of Lord ------[62], that from a too great eagerness of praise and
popularity, and a politeness carried to a ridiculous excess, he was
likely, after asserting a thing in general, to give it up again in
parts. For instance, if he had said Reynolds was the first of painters,
he was capable enough of giving up, as objections might happen to be
severally made, first his outline,--then the grace in form,--then the
colouring,--and lastly, to have owned that he was such a mannerist, that
the disposition of his pictures was all alike.'
'For hospitality, as formerly practised, there is no longer the same
reason; heretofore the poorer people were more numerous, and from want
of commerce, their means of getting a livelihood more difficult;
therefore the supporting them was an act of great benevolence; now that
the poor can find maintenance for themselves, and their labour is
wanted, a general undiscerning hospitality tends to ill, by withdrawing
them from their work to idleness and drunkenness. Then, formerly rents
were received in kind, so that there was a great abundance of provisions
in possession of the owners of the lands, which, since the plenty of
money afforded by commerce, is no longer the case.'
'Hospitality to strangers and foreigners in our country is now almost at
an end, since, from the increase of them that come to us, there have
been a sufficient number of people that have found an interest in
providing inns and proper accommodations, which is in general a more
expedient method for the entertainment of travellers. Where the
travellers and strangers are few, more of that hospitality subsists, as
it has not been worth while to provide places of accommodation. In
Ireland there is still hospitality to strangers, in some degree; in
Hungary and Poland probably more.'
'Colman, in a note on his translation of _Terence_, talking of
Shakspeare's learning, asks, "What says Farmer to this? What says
Johnson[63]?" Upon this he observed, "Sir, let Farmer answer for
himself: _I_ never engaged in this controversy. I always said,
Shakspeare had Latin enough to grammaticise his English[64]."'
'A clergyman, whom he characterised as one who loved to say little
oddities, was affecting one day, at a Bishop's table, a sort of slyness
and freedom not in character, and repeated, as if part of _The Old Mans
Wish_, a song by Dr. Walter Pope, a verse bordering on licentiousness.
Johnson rebuked him in the finest manner, by first shewing him that he
did not know the passage he was aiming at, and thus humbling him: "Sir,
that is not the song: it is thus." And he gave it right. Then looking
stedfastly on him, "Sir, there is a part of that song which I should
wish to exemplify in my own life:--
"May I govern my passions with absolute sway[65]!"'
'Being asked if Barnes knew a good deal of Greek, he answered, "I doubt,
Sir, he was _unoculus inter caecos[66]_."'
'He used frequently to observe, that men might be very eminent in a
profession, without our perceiving any particular power of mind in them
in conversation. "It seems strange (said he) that a man should see so
far to the right, who sees so short a way to the left. Burke is the only
man whose common conversation corresponds with the general fame which
he has in the world. Take up whatever topick you please, he is ready to
meet you[67]."'
'A gentleman, by no means deficient in literature, having discovered
less acquaintance with one of the Classicks than Johnson expected, when
the gentleman left the room, he observed, "You see, now, how little any
body reads." Mr. Langton happening to mention his having read a good
deal in Clenardus's _Greek Grammar_, "Why, Sir, (said he,) who is there
in this town who knows any thing of Clenardus but you and I?" And upon
Mr. Langton's mentioning that he had taken the pains to learn by heart
the Epistle of St. Basil, which is given in that Grammar as a praxis,
"Sir, (said he,) I never made such an effort to attain Greek[68]."'
'Of Dodsley's _Publick Virtue, a Poem_, he said, "It was fine _blank_
(meaning to express his usual contempt for blank verse[69]); however,
this miserable poem did not sell, and my poor friend Doddy said, Publick
Virtue was not a subject to interest the age."'
'Mr. Langton, when a very young man, read Dodsley's _Cleone a
Tragedy_[70], to him, not aware of his extreme impatience to be read to.
As it went on he turned his face to the back of his chair, and put
himself into various attitudes, which marked his uneasiness. At the end
of an act, however, he said, "Come let's have some more, let's go into
the slaughter-house again, Lanky. But I am afraid there is more blood
than brains." Yet he afterwards said, "When I heard you read it, I
thought higher of its power of language: when I read it myself, I was
more sensible of its pathetick effect;" and then he paid it a compliment
which many will think very extravagant. "Sir, (said he,) if Otway had
written this play, no other of his pieces would have been remembered."
Dodsley himself, upon this being repeated to him, said, "It was too
much:" it must be remembered, that Johnson always appeared not to be
sufficiently sensible of the merit of Otway[71].'
'Snatches of reading (said he) will not make a Bentley or a Clarke. They
are, however, in a certain degree advantageous. I would put a child into
a library (where no unfit books are) and let him read at his choice. A
child should not be discouraged from reading any thing that he takes a
liking to, from a notion that it is above his reach. If that be the
case, the child will soon find it out and desist; if not, he of course
gains the instruction; which is so much the more likely to come, from
the inclination with which he takes up the study[72].'
'Though he used to censure carelessness with great vehemence, he owned,
that he once, to avoid the trouble of locking up five guineas, hid them,
he forgot where, so that he could not find them.'
'A gentleman who introduced his brother to Dr. Johnson was earnest to
recommend him to the Doctor's notice, which he did by saying, "When we
have sat together some time, you'll find my brother grow very
entertaining."--"Sir, (said Johnson,) I can wait."'
'When the rumour was strong that we should have a war, because the
French would assist the Americans, he rebuked a friend with some
asperity for supposing it, saying, "No, Sir, national faith is not yet
sunk so low."'
'In the latter part of his life, in order to satisfy himself whether his
mental faculties were impaired, he resolved that he would try to learn a
new language, and fixed upon the Low Dutch, for that purpose, and this
he continued till he had read about one half of _Thomas a Kempis_; and
finding that there appeared no abatement of his power of acquisition, he
then desisted, as thinking the experiment had been duly tried[73]. Mr.
Burke justly observed, that this was not the most vigorous trial, Low
Dutch being a language so near to our own; had it been one of the
languages entirely different, he might have been very soon satisfied.'
'Mr. Langton and he having gone to see a Freemason's funeral procession,
when they were at Rochester[74], and some solemn musick being played on
French horns, he said, "This is the first time that I have ever been
affected by musical sounds;" adding, "that the impression made upon him
was of a melancholy kind." Mr. Langton saying, that this effect was a
fine one,--JOHNSON. "Yes, if it softens the mind, so as to prepare it
for the reception of salutary feelings, it may be good: but inasmuch as
it is melancholy _per se_, it is bad[75]."'
'Goldsmith had long a visionary project, that some time or other when
his circumstances should be easier, he would go to Aleppo, in order to
acquire a knowledge as far as might be of any arts peculiar to the East,
and introduce them into Britain. When this was talked of in Dr.
Johnson's company, he said, "Of all men Goldsmith is the most unfit to
go out upon such an inquiry; for he is utterly ignorant of such arts as
we already possess, and consequently could not know what would be
accessions to our present stock of mechanical knowledge. Sir, he would
bring home a grinding barrow, which you see in every street in London,
and think that he had furnished a wonderful improvement[76]."'
'Greek, Sir, (said he,) is like lace; every man gets as much of it as he
can[77].'
'When Lord Charles Hay[78], after his return from America, was preparing
his defence to be offered to the Court-Martial which he had demanded,
having heard Mr. Langton as high in expressions of admiration of
Johnson, as he usually was, he requested that Dr. Johnson might be
introduced to him; and Mr. Langton having mentioned it to Johnson, he
very kindly and readily agreed; and being presented by Mr. Langton to
his Lordship, while under arrest, he saw him several times; upon one of
which occasions Lord Charles read to him what he had prepared, which
Johnson signified his approbation of, saying, "It is a very good
soldierly defence." Johnson said, that he had advised his Lordship, that
as it was in vain to contend with those who were in possession of power,
if they would offer him the rank of Lieutenant-General, and a
government, it would be better judged to desist from urging his
complaints. It is well known that his Lordship died before the sentence
was made known.'
'Johnson one day gave high praise to Dr. Bentley's verses[79] in
Dodsley's _Collection_, which he recited with his usual energy. Dr. Adam
Smith, who was present, observed in his decisive professorial manner,
"Very well--Very well." Johnson however added, "Yes, they _are_ very
well, Sir; but you may observe in what manner they are well. They are
the forcible verses of a man of a strong mind, but not accustomed to
write verse[80]; for there is some uncouthness in the expression[81]."'
'Drinking tea one day at Garrick's with Mr. Langton, he was questioned
if he was not somewhat of a heretick as to Shakspeare; said Garrick, "I
doubt he is a little of an infidel[82]."--"Sir, (said Johnson) I will
stand by the lines I have written on Shakspeare in my Prologue at the
opening of your Theatre[83]." Mr. Langton suggested, that in the line
"And panting Time toil'd after him in vain,"
Johnson might have had in his eye the passage in _The Tempest_, where
Prospero says of Miranda,
"-------She will outstrip all praise,
And make it halt behind her[84]."
Johnson said nothing. Garrick then ventured to observe, "I do not think
that the happiest line in the praise of Shakspeare." Johnson exclaimed
(smiling,) "Prosaical rogues! next time I write, I'll make both time and
space pant[85]."'
'It is well known that there was formerly a rude custom for those who
were sailing upon the Thames, to accost each other as they passed, in
the most abusive language they could invent, generally, however, with as
much satirical humour as they were capable of producing. Addison gives a
specimen of this ribaldry, in Number 383 of _The Spectator_, when Sir
Roger de Coverly and he are going to Spring-garden[86]. Johnson was once
eminently successful in this species of contest; a fellow having
attacked him with some coarse raillery, Johnson answered him thus, "Sir,
your wife, _under pretence of keeping a bawdy-house_, is a receiver of
stolen goods[87]." One evening when he and Mr. Burke and Mr. Langton
were in company together, and the admirable scolding of Timon of Athens
was mentioned, this instance of Johnson's was quoted, and thought to
have at least equal excellence.'
'As Johnson always allowed the extraordinary talents of Mr. Burke, so
Mr. Burke was fully sensible of the wonderful powers of Johnson. Mr.
Langton recollects having passed an evening with both of them, when Mr.
Burke repeatedly entered upon topicks which it was evident he would have
illustrated with extensive knowledge and richness of expression; but
Johnson always seized upon the conversation, in which, however, he
acquitted himself in a most masterly manner. As Mr. Burke and Mr.
Langton were walking home, Mr. Burke observed that Johnson had been very
great that night; Mr. Langton joined in this, but added, he could have
wished to hear more from another person; (plainly intimating that he
meant Mr. Burke.) "O, no (said Mr. Burke) it is enough for me to have
rung the bell to him[88]."'
'Beauclerk having observed to him of one of their friends, that he was
aukward at counting money, "Why, Sir, said Johnson, I am likewise
aukward at counting money. But then, Sir, the reason is plain; I have
had very little money to count."'
'He had an abhorrence of affectation[89]. Talking of old Mr. Langton, of
whom he said, "Sir, you will seldom see such a gentleman, such are his
stores of literature, such his knowledge in divinity, and such his
exemplary life;" he added, "and Sir, he has no grimace, no
gesticulation, no bursts of admiration on trivial occasions; he never
embraces you with an overacted cordiality[90]."'
'Being in company with a gentleman who thought fit to maintain Dr.
Berkeley's ingenious philosophy, that nothing exists but as perceived by
some mind[91]; when the gentleman was going away, Johnson said to him,
"Pray, Sir, don't leave us; for we may perhaps forget to think of you,
and then you will cease to exist[92]."'
'Goldsmith, upon being visited by Johnson one day in the Temple, said to
him with a little jealousy of the appearance of his accommodation, "I
shall soon be in better chambers than these." Johnson at the same time
checked him and paid him a handsome compliment, implying that a man of
his talents should be above attention to such distinctions,--'Nay, Sir,
never mind that. _Nil te quaesiveris extra_[93].'
'At the time when his pension was granted to him, he said, with a noble
literary ambition, "Had this happened twenty years years ago, I should
have gone to Constantinople to learn Arabick, as Pococke did[94]."'
'As an instance of the niceness of his taste, though he praised West's
translation of Pindar, he pointed out the following passage as faulty,
by expressing a circumstance so minute as to detract from the general
dignity which should prevail:
"Down then from thy glittering nail,
Take, O Muse, thy Dorian _lyre_[95].'"
'When Mr. Vesey[96] was proposed as a member of the LITERARY CLUB, Mr.
Burke began by saying that he was a man of gentle manners. "Sir, said
Johnson, you need say no more. When you have said a man of gentle
manners; you have said enough."'
'The late Mr. Fitzherbert[97] told Mr. Langton that Johnson said to him,
"Sir, a man has no more right to _say_ an uncivil thing, than to _act_
one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock
him down."'
'My dear friend Dr. Bathurst[98], (said he with a warmth of approbation)
declared he was glad that his father, who was a West-Indian planter, had
left his affairs in total ruin, because having no estate, he was not
under the temptation of having slaves.'
'Richardson had little conversation[99], except about his own works, of
which Sir Joshua Reynolds said he was always willing to talk, and glad
to have them introduced. Johnson when he carried Mr. Langton to see him,
professed that he could bring him out into conversation, and used this
allusive expression, "Sir, I can make him _rear._" But he failed; for in
that interview Richardson said little else than that there lay in the
room a translation of his _Clarissa_ into German[100].'
'Once when somebody produced a newspaper in which there was a letter of
stupid abuse of Sir Joshua Reynolds, of which Johnson himself came in
for a share,--"Pray," said he, "let us have it read aloud from beginning
to end;" which being done, he with a ludicrous earnestness, and not
directing his look to any particular person, called out, "Are we alive
after all this satire!"'
'He had a strong prejudice against the political character of
Seeker[101], one instance of which appeared at Oxford, where he
expressed great dissatisfaction at his varying the old established
toast, "Church and King." "The Archbishop of Canterbury, said he (with
an affected smooth smiling grimace) drinks,' Constitution in Church and
State.'" Being asked what difference there was between the two toasts,
he said, "Why, Sir, you may be sure he meant something." Yet when the
life of that prelate, prefixed to his sermons by Dr. Porteus and Dr.
Stinton his chaplains, first came out, he read it with the utmost
avidity, and said, "It is a life well written, and that well deserves to
be recorded."'
'Of a certain noble Lord, he said, "Respect him, you could not; for he
had no mind of his own. Love him you could not; for that which you could
do with him, every one else could[102]."'
'Of Dr. Goldsmith he said, "No man was more foolish when he had not a
pen in his hand, or more wise when he had[103]."'
'He told in his lively manner the following literary anecdote: "Green
and Guthrie[104], an Irishman and a Scotchman, undertook a translation
of Duhalde's _History of China_. Green said of Guthrie, that he knew no
English, and Guthrie of Green, that he knew no French; and these two
undertook to translate Duhalde's _History of China_. In this translation
there was found 'the twenty-sixth day of the new moon.' Now as the whole
age of the moon is but twenty-eight days, the moon instead of being new,
was nearly as old as it could be. Their blunder arose from their
mistaking the word _neuvieme_ ninth, for _nouvelle_ or _neuve_, new."'
'Talking of Dr. Blagden's copiousness and precision of communication,
Dr. Johnson said, "Blagden, Sir, is a delightful fellow[105]."'
'On occasion of Dr. Johnson's publishing his pamphlet of _The False
Alarm_[106], there came out a very angry answer (by many supposed to be
by Mr. Wilkes). Dr. Johnson determined on not answering it; but, in
conversation with Mr. Langton, mentioned a particular or two, which if
he _had_ replied to it, he might perhaps have inserted. In the
answerer's pamphlet, it had been said with solemnity, "Do you consider,
Sir, that a House of Commons is to the people as a Creature is to its
