second thoughts ， I had better not ； it is better I should behold her
through the eyes of her lover. To my sight， perhaps， she would not appear
as she now stands before me ； and why should I destroy so sweet a picture？
JUNE 16. "Why do I not write to you ？" You lay claim to learning ，
and ask such a question. You should have guessed that I am well —— that
is to say —— in a word， I have made an acquaintance who has won my
heart ： I have —— I know not.
To give you a regular account of the manner in which I have become
acquainted with the most amiable of women would be a difficult task. I
am a happy and contented mortal ， but a poor historian.
An angel！ Nonsense ！ Everybody so describes his mistress； and yet
I find it impossible to tell you how perfect she is ， or why she is so
perfect ： suffice it to say she has captivated all my senses.
So much simplicity with so much understauding —— so mild， and yet
so resolute —— a mind so placid ， and a life so active.
But all this is ugly balderdash ， which expresses not a single character
nor feature. Some other time—— but no ， not some other time， now，
this very instant ， will I tell you all about it. Now or never. Well ，
between ourselves ， since I commenced my letter， I have been three times
on the point of throwing down my pen， of ordering my horse ， and riding
out. And yet I vowed this morning that I would not ride to-day， and yet
every moment I am rushing to the window to see how high the sun is.
I could not restrain myself —— go to her I must. I have just returned，
Wilhelm ； and whilst I am taking supper I will write to you. What a delight
it was for my soul to see her in the midst of her dear， beautiful children，
—— eight brothers and sisters ！
But ， if I proceed thus， you will be no wiser at the end of my letter
than you were at the beginning. Attend， then ， and I will compel myself
to give you the details.
I mentioned to you the other day that I had become acquainted with
S ——， the district judge ， and that he had invited me to go and visit
him in his retirement ， or rather in his little kingdom. But I neglected
going ， and perhaps should never have gone ， if chance had not discovered
to me the treasure which lay concealed in that retired spot. Some of our
young people had proposed giving a ball in the country， at which I consented
to be present. I offered my hand for the evening to a pretty and agreeable，
but rather commonplace， sort of girl from the immediate neighbourhood
； and it was agreed that I should engage a carriage， and call upon Charlotte，
with my partner and her aunt， to convey them to the ball. My companion
informed me ， as we drove along through the park to the hunting-lodge，
that I should make the acquaintance of a very charming young lady. "Take
care，" added the aunt， "that you do not lose your heart." "Why？" said
I. "Because she is already engaged to a very worthy man ，" she replied，
"who is gone to settle his affairs upon the death of his father ， and
will succeed to a very considerable inheritance." This information possessed
no interest for me. When we arrived at the gate ， the sun was setting
behind the tops of the mountains. The atmosphere was heavy； and the ladies
expressed their fears of an approaching storm ， as masses of low black
clouds were gathering in the horizon. I relieved their anxieties by pretending
to be weather-wise， although I myself had some apprehensions lest our
pleasure should be interrupted.
I alighted； and a maid came to the door， and requested us to wait
a moment for her mistress. I walked across the court to a well-built house，
and ， ascending the flight of steps in front ， opened the door， and
saw before me the most charming spectacle I had ever witnessed. Six children，
from eleven to two years old， were running about the hall， and surrounding
a lady of middle height ， with a lovely figure ， dressed in a robe of
simple white， trimmed with pink ribbons. She was holding a rye loaf in
her hand， and was cutting slices for the little ones all around， in
proportion to their age and appetite. She performed her task in a graceful
and affectionate manner ； each claimant awaiting his turn with outstretched
hands ， and boisterously shouting his thanks. Some of them ran away at
once， to enjoy their evening meal； whilst others， of a gentler disposition，
retired to the courtyard to see the strangers ， and to survey the carriage
in which their Charlotte was to drive away. "Pray forgive me for giving
you the trouble to come for me， and for keeping the ladies waiting ：
but dressing， and arranging some household duties before I leave ， had
made me forget my children's supper ； and they do not like to take it
from any one but me." I uttered some indifferent compliment ： but my
whole soul was absorbed by her air， her voice， her manner ； and I had
scarcely recovered myself when she ran into her room to fetch her gloves
and fan. The young ones threw inquiring glances at me from a distance
； whilst I approached the youngest ， a most delicious little creature.
He drew back； and Charlotte， entering at the very moment， said ， "Louis，
shake hands with your cousin." The little fellow obeyed willingly ； and
I could not resist giving him a hearty kiss ， notwithstanding his rather
dirty face. "Cousin ，" said I to Charlotte ， as I handed her down ，
"do you think I deserve the happiness of being related to you ？" She
replied ， with a ready smile ， "Oh！ I have such a number of cousins，
that I should be sorry if you were the most undeserving of them." In taking
leave ， she desired her next sister， Sophy， a girl about eleven years
old ， to take great care of the children ， and to say good-bye to papa
for her when he came home from his ride. She enjoined to the little ones
to obey their sister Sophy as they would herself， upon which some promised
that they would ； but a little fair-haired girl， about six years old，
looked discontented ， and said ， "But Sophy is not you， Charlotte；
and we like you best." The two eldest boys had clambered up the carriage
； and， at my request， she permitted them to accompany us a little way
through the forest， upon their promising to sit very still ， and hold
fast.
We were hardly seated ， and the ladies had scarcely exchanged compliments，
making the usual remarks upon each other's dress， and upon the company
they expected to meet ， when Charlotte stopped the carriage， and made
her brothers get down. They insisted upon kissing her hands once more
； which the eldest did with all the tenderness of a youth of fifteen ，
but the other in a lighter and more careless manner. She desired them
again to give her love to the children， and we drove off.
The aunt inquired of Charlotte whether she had finished the book she
had last sent her. "No，" said Charlotte； "I did not like it ： you can
have it again. And the one before was not much better." I was surprised，
upon asking the title ， to hear that it was ____.（We feel obliged to
suppress the passage in the letter， to prevent any one from feeling aggrieved
； although no author need pay much attention to the opinion of a mere
girl， or that of an unsteady young man.）
I found penetration and character in everything she said： every expression
seemed to brighten her features with new charms ，——with new rays of
genius，—— which unfolded by degrees， as she felt herself understood.
"When I was younger ，" she observed， "I loved nothing so much as
romances. Nothing could equal my delight when ， on some holiday， I could
settle down quietly in a corner ， and enter with my whole heart and soul
into the joys or sorrows of some fictitious Leonora. I do not deny that
they even possess some charms for me yet. But I read so seldom， that
I prefer books suited exactly to my taste. And I like those authors best
whose scenes describe my own situation in life，—— and the friends who
are about me， whose stories touch me with interest ， from resembling
my own homely existence ，—— which， without being absolutely paradise，
is， on the whole ， a source of indescribable happiness."
I endeavoured to conceal the emotion which these words occasioned ，
but it was of slight avail； for， when she had expressed so truly her
opinion of "The Vicar of Wakefield，" and of other works， the names of
which I omit（Though the names are omitted， yet the authors mentioned
deserve Charlotte's approbation ， and will feel it in their hearts when
they read this passage. It concerns no other person.）， I could no longer
contain myself， but gave full utterance to what I thought of it： and
it was not until Charlotte had addressed herself to the two other ladies，
that I remembered their presence， and observed them sitting mute with
astonishment. The aunt looked at me several times with an air of raillery，
which ， however， I did not at all mind.
We talked of the pleasures of dancing. "If it is a fault to love it
，" said Charlotte ， "I am ready to confess that I prize it above all
other amusements. If anything disturbs me ， I go to the piano， play
an air to which I have danced ， and all goes right again directly."
You ， who know me， can fancy how steadfastly I gazed upon her rich
dark eyes during these remarks， how my very soul gloated over her warm
lips and fresh， glowing cheeks ， how I became quite lost in the delightful
meaning of her words， so much so ， that I scarcely heard the actual
expressions. In short ， I alighted from the carriage like a person in
a dream ， and was so lost to the dim world around me ， that I scarcely
heard the music which resounded from the illuminated ballroom.
The two Messrs. Andran and a certain N. N.（I cannot trouble myself
with the names）， who were the aunt's and Charlotte's partners ， received
us at the carriage-door ， and took possession of their ladies， whilst
I followed with mine.
We commenced with a minuet. I led out one lady after another， and
precisely those who were the most disagreeable could not bring themselves
to leave off. Charlotte and her partner began an English country dance，
and you must imagine my delight when it was their turn to dance the figure
with us. You should see Charlotte dance. She dances with her whole heart
and soul： her figure is all harmony， elegance ， and grace， as if she
were conscious of nothing else， and had no other thought or feeling；
and ， doubtless， for the moment ， every other sensation is extinct.
She was engaged for the second country dance， but promised me the
third ， and assured me ， with the most agreeable freedom， that she
was very fond of waltzing. "It is the custom here ，" she said， "for
the previous partners to waltz together ； but my partner is an indifferent
waltzer ， and will feel delighted if I save him the trouble. Your partner
is not allowed to waltz ， and， indeed ， is equally incapable ： but
I observed during the country dance that you waltz well ； so ， if you
will waltz with me， I beg you would propose it to my partner ， and I
will propose it to yours." We agreed， and it was arranged that our partners
should mutually entertain each other.
We set off， and， at first ， delighted ourselves with the usual
graceful motions of the arms. With what grace ， with what ease ， she
moved ！ When the waltz commenced ， and the dancers whirled around each
other in the giddy maze ， there was some confusion ， owing to the incapacity
of some of the dancers. We judiciously remained still ， allowing the
others to weary themselves； and， when the awkward dancers had withdrawn，
we joined in， and kept it up famously together with one other couple ，
—— Andran and his partner. Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself
more than mortal， holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms ， flying，
with her as rapidly as the wind ， till I lost sight of every other object
； and O Wilhelm， I vowed at that moment ， that a maiden whom I loved，
or for whom I felt the slightest attachment ， never， never should waltz
with any one else but with me ， if I went to perdition for it！—— you
will understand this.
We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Charlotte sat
down， and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I had had
secured ，—— the only ones that had been left ； but at every slice
which ， from politeness， she offered to her neighbours， I felt as though
a dagger went through my heart.
We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were going
down（and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms and eyes ，
beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine enjoyment ）， we
passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming expression of countenance
； although she was no longer young. She looked at Charlotte with a smile，
then， holding up her finger in a threatening attitude， repeated twice
in a very significant tone of voice the name of "Albert."
"Who is Albert，" said I to Charlotte ， "if it is not impertinent
to ask？" She was about to answer ， when we were obliged to separate ，
in order to execute a figure in the dance ； and， as we crossed over
again in front of each other， I perceived she looked somewhat pensive.
"Why need I conceal it from you ？" she said， as she gave me her hand
for the promenade. "Albert is a worthy man， to whom I am engaged." Now，
there was nothing new to me in this （for the girls had told me of it
on the way）； but it was so far new that I had not thought of it in connection
with her whom ， in so short a time ， I had learned to prize so highly.
Enough， I became confused， got out in the figure， and occasioned general
confusion ； so that it required all Charlotte's presence of mind to set
me right by pulling and pushing me into my proper place.
The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for some
time been seen in the horizon ， and which I had asserted to proceed entirely
from heat ， grew more violent； and the thunder was heard above the music.
When any distress or terror surprises us in the midst of our amusements，
it naturally makes a deeper impression than at other times， either because
the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible ， or rather perhaps because
our senses are then more open to impressions， and the shock is consequently
stronger. To this cause I must ascribe the fright and shrieks of the ladies.
One sagaciously sat down in a corner with her back to the window， and
held her fingers to her ears； a second knelt down before her ， and hid
her face in her lap ； a third threw herself between them ， and embraced
her sister with a thousand tears； some insisted on going home； others，
unconscious of their actions， wanted sufficient presence of mind to repress
the impertinence of their young partners， who sought to direct to themselves
those sighs which the lips of our agitated beauties intended for heaven.
Some of the gentlemen had gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar ， and
the rest of the company gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess
to retire into another room which was provided with shutters and curtains.
We had hardly got there ， when Charlotte placed the chairs in a circle
； and， when the company had sat down in compliance with her request ，
she forthwith proposed a round game.
I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw themselves
up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. "Let us play at counting，
" said Charlotte. "Now， pay attention： I shall go round the circle from
right to left ； and each person is to count， one after the other， the
number that comes to him， and must count fast； whoever stops or mistakes
is to have a box on the ear ， and so on， till we have counted a thousand."
It was delightful to see the fun. She went round the circle with upraised
arm. "One ，" said the first； "two ，" the second； "three ，" the third
； and so on， till Charlotte went faster and faster. One made a mistake，
instantly a box on the ear； and， amid the laughter that ensued， came
another box ； and so on， faster and faster. I myself came in for two.
I fancied they were harder than the rest， and felt quite delighted. A
general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before we had
counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into little separate
knots ： the storm had ceased ， and I followed Charlotte into the ballroom.
On the way she said ， "The game banished their fears of the storm." I
could make no reply. "I myself，" she continued ， "was as much frightened
as any of them； but by affecting courage ， to keep up the spirits of
the others， I forgot my apprehensions." We went to the window. It was
still thundering at a distance： a soft rain was pouring down over the
country ， and filled the air around us with delicious odours. Charlotte
leaned forward on her arm ； her eyes wandered over the scene ； she raised
them to the sky ， and then turned them upon me ； they were moistened
with tears； she placed her hand on mine and said ， "Klopstock ！" at
once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her thoughts ： I felt
oppressed with the weight of my sensations， and sank under them. It was
more than I could bear. I bent over her hand， kissed it in a stream of
delicious tears ， and again looked up to her eyes. Divine Klopstock！
why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes ？ And thy name so
often profaned， would that I never heard it repeated ！
JUNE 19. I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative ： I
only know it was two in the morning when I went to bed； and if you had
been with me， that I might have talked instead of writing to you ， I
should， in all probability ， have kept you up till daylight.
I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from
the ball， nor have I time to tell you now. It was a most magnificent
sunrise ： the whole country was refreshed， and the rain fell drop by
drop from the trees in the forest. Our companions were asleep. Charlotte
asked me if I did not wish to sleep also， and begged of me not to make
any ceremony on her account. Looking steadfastly at her ， I answered ，
"As long as I see those eyes open ， there is no fear of my falling asleep."
We both continued awake till we reached her door. The maid opened it softly，
and assured her ， in answer to her inquiries ， that her father and the
children were well， and still sleeping. I left her asking permission
to visit her in the course of the day. She consented， and I went ， and，
since that time ， sun， moon ， and stars may pursue their course： I
know not whether it is day or night ； the whole world is nothing to me.
JUNE 21. My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect
； and， whatever be my fate hereafter， I can never say that I have not
tasted joy，—— the purest joy of life. You know Walheim. I am now completely
settled there. In that spot I am only half a league from Charlotte； and
there I enjoy myself， and taste all the pleasure which can fall to the
lot of man.
Little did I imagine， when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian excursions，
that all heaven lay so near it. How often in my wanderings from the hillside
or from the meadows across the river， have I beheld this hunting-lodge，
which now contains within it all the joy of my heart！
I have often， my dear Wilhelm， reflected on the eagerness men feel
to wander and make new discoveries， and upon that secret impulse which
afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle， conform to
the laws of custom， and embarrass themselves no longer with what passes
around them.
It is so strange how， when I came here first ， and gazed upon that
lovely valley from the hillside ， I felt charmed with the entire scene
surrounding me. The little wood opposite—— how delightful to sit under
its shade ！ How fine the view from that point of rock！ Then ， that
delightful chain of hills ， and the exquisite valleys at their feet！
Could I but wander and lose myself amongst them ！ I went ， and returned
without finding what I wished. Distance ， my friend， is like futurity.
A dim vastness is spread before our souls ： the perceptions of our mind
are as obscure as those of our vision ； and we desire earnestly to surrender
up our whole being， that it may be filled with the complete and perfect
bliss of one glorious emotion. But alas ！ when we have attained our object，
when the distant there becomes the present here ， all is changed ： we
are as poor and circumscribed as ever ， and our souls still languish
for unattainable happiness.
So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil ， and find
in his own cottage， in the arms of his wife， in the affections of his
children， and in the labour necessary for their support， that happiness
which he had sought in vain through the wide world.
When， in the morning at sunrise， I go out to Walheim， and with
my own hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my
dinner， when I sit down to shell them， and read my Homer during the
intervals ， and then ， selecting a saucepan from the kitchen， fetch
my own butter ， put my mess on the fire， cover it up， and sit down
to stir it as occasion requires ， I figure to myself the illustrious
suitors of Penelope ， killing， dressing ， and preparing their own oxen
and swine. Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness
than those traits of patriarchal life which ， thank Heaven ！ I can imitate
without affectation. Happy is it， indeed ， for me that my heart is capable
of feeling the same simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant whose
table is covered with food of his own rearing ， and who not only enjoys
his meal， but remembers with delight the happy days and sunny mornings
when he planted it， the soft evenings when he watered it ， and the pleasure
he experienced in watching its daily growth.
JUNE 29. The day before yesterday ， the physician came from the town
to pay a visit to the judge. He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's
children. Some of them were scrambling over me， and others romped with
me； and， as I caught and tickled them ， they made a great noise. The
doctor is a formal sort of personage： he adjusts the plaits of his ruffles，
and continually settles his frill whilst he is talking to you ； and he
thought my conduct beneath the dignity of a sensible man. I could perceive
this by his countenance. But I did not suffer myself to be disturbed.
I allowed him to continue his wise conversation ， whilst I rebuilt the
children's card houses for them as fast as they threw them down. He went
about the town afterward， complaining that the judge's children were
spoiled enough before ， but that now Werther was completely ruining them.
Yes ， my dear Wilhelm， nothing on this earth affects my heart so much
as children. When I look on at their doings ； when I mark in the little
creatures the seeds of all those virtues and qualities which they will
one day find so indispensable ； when I behold in the obstinate all the
future firmness and constancy of a noble character； in the capricious，
that levity and gaiety of temper which will carry them lightly over the
dangers and troubles of life， their whole nature simple and unpolluted，
—— then I call to mind the golden words of the Great Teacher of mankind，
"Unless ye become like one of these ！" And now ， my friend， these children，
who are our equals， whom we ought to consider as our models， we treat
them as though they were our subjects. They are allowed no will of their
own. And have we， then ， none ourselves ？ Whence comes our exclusive
right ？ Is it because we are older and more experienced？ Great God！
from the height of thy heaven thou beholdest great children and little
children， and no others； and thy Son has long since declared which afford
thee greatest pleasure. But they believe in him ， and hear him not ，
——that， too， is an old story； and they train their children after
their own image ， etc. Adieu ， Wilhelm： I will not further bewilder
myself with this subject.
JULY 1. The consolation Charlotte can bring to an invalid I experience
from my own heart ， which suffers more from her absence than many a poor
creature lingering on a bed of sickness. She is gone to spend a few days
in the town with a very worthy woman， who is given over by the physicians，
and wishes to have Charlotte near her in her last moments. I accompanied
her last week on a visit to the Vicar of S——， a small village in the
mountains ， about a league hence. We arrived about four o'clock： Charlotte
had taken her little sister with her. When we entered the vicarage court，
we found the good old man sitting on a bench before the door， under the
shade of two large walnut-trees. At the sight of Charlotte he seemed to
gain new life ， rose ， forgot his stick ， and ventured to walk toward
her. She ran to him ， and made him sit down again； then ， placing herself
by his side ， she gave him a number of messages from her father， and
then caught up his youngest child ， a dirty， ugly little thing， the
joy of his old age， and kissed it. I wish you could have witnessed her
attention to this old man ，——how she raised her voice on account of
his deafness； how she told him of healthy young people ， who had been
carried off when it was least expected； praised the virtues of Carlsbad，
and commended his determination to spend the ensuing summer there ； and
