"No—it makes me very happy that you came. It's the best gift you could have given me."
He laughed. "That's good, because I didn't have time to stop for a real present."
My eyes were adjusting, and I could see his face now, higher up than I expected. Was it possible that he
was still growing? He had to be closer to seven feet than to six. It was a relief to see his familiar features
again after all this time—his deep-set eyes shadowed under his shaggy black brows, his high
cheekbones, his full lips stretched over his bright teeth in the sarcastic smile that matched his tone. His
eyes were tight around the edges—careful; I could see that he was being very careful tonight. He was
doing all he could to make me happy, to not slip and show how much this cost him.
I'd never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob.
"When did you decide to come back?"
"Consciously or subconsciously?" He took a deep breath before he answered his own question. "I don't
really know. I guess I've been wandering back this direction for a while, and maybe it's because I was
headed here. But it wasn't until this morning that I really started running. I didn't know if I could make
it." He laughed. "You wouldn't believe how weird this feels—walking around on two legs again. And
clothes! And then it's more bizarre because it feels weird. I didn't expect that. I'm out of practice with the
whole human thing."
We revolved steadily.
"It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. That's worth the trip right there. You
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look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful."
"Alice invested a lot of time in me today. The dark helps, too."
"It's not so dark for me, you know."
"Right." Werewolf senses. It was easy to forget all the things he could do, he seemed so human.
Especially right now.
"You cut your hair," I noted.
"Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought I'd better take advantage of the hands."
"It looks good," I lied.
He snorted. "Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears." He grinned widely for a moment, and then
his smile faded. His expression turned serious. "Are you happy, Bella?"
"Yes."
"Okay." I felt his shoulders shrug. "That's the main thing, I guess."
"How are you, Jacob? Really?"
"I'm fine, Bella, really. You don't need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth."
"I'm not just bugging him because of you. I like Seth."
"He's a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being
a wolf would be about perfect."
I laughed at the way it sounded. "Yeah, I can't get mine to shut up, either."
"In your case, that would mean you're insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane," he
teased.
"Thanks."
"Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people's voices don't send babysitters to
watch them."
"Huh?"
"Sam's out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know."
"In case of what?"
"In case I can't keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party." He flashed a
quick
smile at what was probably an appealing thought to him. "But I'm not here to ruin your wedding, Bella.
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I'm here to ." He trailed off.
"To make it perfect."
"That's a tall order."
"Good thing you're so tall."
He groaned at my bad joke and then sighed. "I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last
time."
"Sam should give you more credit."
"Well, maybe I'm being oversensitive. Maybe they'd be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are
a lot of vampires here. Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should."
"Seth knows that he's not in any danger. He understands the Cullens better than Sam does."
"Sure, sure," Jacob said, making peace before it could turn into a fight.
It was strange to have him being the diplomat.
"Sorry about those voices," I said. "Wish I could make it better." In so many ways.
"It's not that bad. I'm just whining a little."
"You're… happy?"
"Close enough. But enough about me. You're the star today." He chuckled. "I bet you're just loving
that. Center of attention."
"Yeah. Can't get enough attention."
He laughed and then stared over my head. With pursed lips, he studied the shimmering glow of the
reception party, the graceful whirl of the dancers, the fluttering petals falling from the garlands; I looked
with him. It all seemed very distant from this black, quiet space. Almost like watching the white flurries
swirling inside a snow globe.
"I'll give them this much," he said. "They know how to throw a party."
"Alice is an unstoppable force of nature."
He sighed. "Song's over. Do you think 1 get another one? Or is that asking too much?"
I tightened my hand around his. "You can have as many dances as you want."
He laughed. "That would be interesting. I think I'd better stick with two, though. Don't want to start
talk."
We turned in another circle.
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"You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now," he murmured.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldn't force it down.
Jacob looked at me and frowned. He wiped his fingers across my cheek, catching the tears there.
"You're not supposed to be the one crying, Bella."
"Everyone cries at weddings," I said thickly.
"This is what you want, right?"
"Right."
"Then smile."
I tried. He laughed at my grimace.
Tm going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that…"
"That what?That I died?"
He clenched his teeth. He was struggling with himself—with his decision to make his presence here a gift
and not a judgment. I could guess what he wanted to say.
"No," he finally answered. "But I'll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet.
All of that."
I deliberately stomped on his foot as hard as I could.
He smiled. "That's my girl."
He started to say something else and then snapped his mouth closed. Struggling again, teeth gritted
against the words he didn't want to say.
My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since Edward had come back
into my life, it was a constant strain. Because—in Jacob's eyes—by choosing Edward, I was choosing a
fate that was worse than death, or at least equivalent to it.
"What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything."
"I—I… I don't have anything to tell you."
"Oh please. Spit it out."
"It's true.It's not… it's—it's a question. It's something I want you to tell me"
"Ask me."
He struggled for another minute and then exhaled. "I shouldn't. It doesn't matter. I'm just morbidly
curious."
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Because I knew him so well, I understood.
"It's not tonight, Jacob," I whispered.
Jacob was even more obsessed with my humanity than Edward. He treasured every one of my
heartbeats, knowing that they were numbered.
"Oh," he said, trying to smother his relief. "Oh."
A new song started playing, but he didn't notice the change this time.
"When?" he whispered.
"I don't know for sure. A week or two, maybe."
His voice changed, took on a defensive, mocking edge. "What's the holdup?"
"I just didn't want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain."
"You'd rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha."
"Very funny."
"Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don't see the point. You can't have a real honeymoon with your
vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn't the first time you've put this off.
That's a good thing, though," he said, suddenly earnest. "Don't be embarrassed about it."
"I'm not putting anything off," I snapped. "And yes I can have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I
want! Butt out!"
He stopped our slow circling abruptly. For a moment, I wondered if he'd finally noticed the music
change, and I scrambled in my head for a way to patch up our little tiff before he said goodbye to me.
We shouldn't part on this note.
And then his eyes bulged wide with a strange kind of confused horror.
"What?" he gasped. "What did you say?"
"About what… ? Jake? What's wrong?"
"What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While you're still human? Are you kidding? That's a sick
joke, Bella!"
I glared at him. "I said butt out, Jake. This is so not your business. I shouldn't have… we shouldn't even
be talking about this. It's private—"
His enormous hands gripped the tops of my arms, wrapping all the way around, fingers overlapping.
"Ow, Jake! Let go!"
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He shook me.
"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"
He shook me again. His hands, tight as tourniquets, were quivering, sending vibrations deep into my
bones.
"Jake—stop!"
The darkness was suddenly very crowded.
"Take your hands off her!" Edward's voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors.
Behind Jacob, there was a low snarl from the black night, and then another, overlapping the first.
"Jake, bro, back away," I heard Seth Clearwater urge. "You're losing it."
Jacob seemed frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide and staring.
"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."
"Now!" Edward snarled.
Jacob's hands dropped to his sides, and the sudden gush of blood through my waiting veins was almost
painful. Before I could register more than that, cold hands replaced the hot ones, and the air was
suddenly whooshing past me.
I blinked, and I was on my feet a half dozen feet away from where I'd been standing. Edward was
tensed in front of me. There were two enormous wolves braced between him and Jacob, but they did not
seem aggressive to me. More like they were trying to prevent the fight.
And Seth—gangly, fifteen-year-old Seth—had his long arms around Jacob's shaking body, and he was
tugging him away. If Jacob phased with Seth so close…
"C'mon, Jake. Let's go."
"I'll kill you," Jacob said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper. His eyes, focused
on
Edward, burned with fury. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" He shuddered convulsively.
The biggest wolf, the black one, growled sharply.
"Seth, get out of the way," Edward hissed.
Seth tugged on Jacob again. Jacob was so bewildered with rage that Seth was able to yank him a few
feet farther back. "Don't do it, Jake. Walk away. C'mon."
Sam—the bigger wolf, the black one—joined Seth then. He put his massive head against Jacob's chest
and shoved.
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The three of them—Seth towing, Jake trembling, Sam pushing—disappeared swiftly into the darkness.
The other wolf stared after them. I wasn't sure, in the weak light, about the color of his fur—chocolate
brown, maybe? Was it Quil, then?
Tm sorry," I whispered to the wolf.
"It'sall right now,Bella," Edward murmured.
The wolf looked at Edward. His gaze was not friendly. Edward gave him one cold nod.The wolf huffed
and then turned to follow the others, vanishing as they had.
"All right," Edward said to himself, and then he looked at me. "Let's get back."
"But Jake—"
"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."
"Edward, I'm so sorry. Iwas stupid—"
"You did nothing wrong—"
"I have such a big mouth! Why would I… I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I
thinking?"
"Don't worry." He touched my face. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our
absence."
I shook my head, trying to reorient myself. Before someone noticed? Had anyone missed that?
Then, as I thought about it, I realized the confrontation that had seemed so catastrophic to me had, in
reality, been very quiet and short here in the shadows.
"Give me two seconds," I pleaded.
My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didn't matter—only the outside mattered right
now. Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.
"My dress?"
"You look fine. Not a hair out of place."
I took two deep breaths. "Okay. Let's go."
He put his arms around me and led me back to the light. When we passed under the twinkle lights, he
spun me gently onto the dance floor. We melted in with the other dancers as if our dance had never been
interrupted.
I glanced around at the guests, butno one seemed shocked or frightened. Only the very palest faces
there showed any signs of stress, and they hid it well. Jasper and Emmett were on the edge of the floor,
close together,
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and I guessed that they had been nearby during the confrontation.
"Are you—"
Tm fine," I promised. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you"
I'd been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then I'd ruined it, turned
his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.
But my idiocy would not ruin anything else tonight. I would put this away, shove it in a drawer and lock it
up to deal with later. There would be plenty of time to flagellate myself for this, and nothing I could do
now would help.
"It's over," I said. "Let's not think of it again tonight."
I expected a quick agreement from Edward, but he was silent.
"Edward?"
He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine. "Jacob is right," he whispered. "What am I
thinking?"
"He is not." I tried to keep my face smooth for the watching crowd of friends. "Jacob is way too
prejudiced to see anything clearly."
He mumbled something low that sounded almost like "should let him kill me for even thinking …"
"Stop it," I said fiercely. I grabbed his face in my hands and waited until he opened his eyes. "You and
me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear
me?"
"Yes," he sighed.
"Forget Jacob came." I could do that. I would 60 that. "For me. Promise that you'll let this go."
He stared into my eyes for a moment before answering. "I promise."
"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid."
"I am," he whispered.
"Don't be." I took deep breath and smiled. "By the way, I love you."
He smiled just a little in return. "That's why we're here."
"You're monopolizing the bride," Emmett said, coming up behind Edward's shoulder. "Let me dance with
my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." He laughed loudly, as unaffected as he
usually was by any serious atmosphere.
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It turned out there were actually lots of people I hadn't danced with yet, and that gave me a chance to
truly compose and resolve myself. When Edward claimed me again, I found that the Jacob-drawer was
shut nice and tight. As he wrapped his arms around me, I was able to unearth my earlier sense of joy, my
certainty that everything in my life was in the right place tonight. I smiled and laid my head against his
chest. His arms tightened.
"I could get used to this," I said.
"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"
"Dancing isn't so bad—with you. But I was thinking more of this,"—and I pressed myself to him even
tighter—"of never having to let you go."
"Never," he promised, and he leaned down to kiss me.
It was a serious kind of kiss—intense, slow but building…
I'd pretty much forgotten where I was when I heard Alice call, "Bella! It's time!"
I felt a brief flicker of irritation with my new sister for the interruption.
Edward ignored her; his lips were hard against mine, more urgent than before. My heart broke into a
sprint and my palms were slick against his marble neck.
"Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice demanded, right next to me now. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely
honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."
Edward turned his face slightly to murmur, "Go away, Alice," and then pressed his lips to mine again.
"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded.
I wasn't really paying much attention. At the moment, I simply didn't care.
Alice growled quietly. "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."
He froze. Then he lifted his face from mine and glared at his favorite sister. "You're awfully small to be so
hugelyirritating."
"I didn't pick out the perfect going-away dress to have it wasted," she snapped back, taking my hand.
"Come with me, Bella."
I tugged against her hold, stretching up on my toes to kiss him one more time. She jerked my arm
impatiently, hauling me away from him. There were a few chuckles from the watching guests. I gave up
then and let her lead me into the empty house.
She looked annoyed.
"Sorry, Alice," I apologized.
"I don't blame you, Bella." She sighed. "You don't seem to be able help yourself."
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I giggled at her martyred expression, and she scowled.
"Thank you, Alice. It was the most beautiful wedding anyone ever had," I told her earnestly. "Everything
was exactly right. You're the best, smartest, most talented sister in the whole world."
That thawed her out; she smiled a huge smile. "I'm glad you liked it."
Renee and Esme were waiting upstairs. The three of them quickly had me out of my dress and into
Alice's deep blue going-away ensemble. I was grateful when someone pulled the pins out of my hair and
let it fall loose down my back, wavy from the braids, saving me from a hairpin headache later. My
mother's tears streamed without a break the entire time.
"I'll call you when I know where I'm going," I promised as I hugged her goodbye. I knew the
honeymoon secret was probably driving her crazy; my mother hated secrets, unless she was in on them.
"I'll tell you as soon as she's safely away," Alice outdid me, smirking at my wounded expression. How
unfair, for me to be the last to know.
"You have to visit me and Phil very, very soon. It's your turn to go south—see the sun for once," Renee
said.
"It didn't rain today," I reminded her, avoiding her request
"A miracle."
"Everything's ready," Alice said. "Your suitcases are in the car—Jasper's bringing it around." She pulled
me back toward the stairs with Renee following, still halfway embracing me.
"I love you, Mom," I whispered as we descended. Tm so glad you have Phil. Take care of each other."
"I love you, too, Bella, honey."
"Goodbye, Mom. I love you," I said again, my throat thick.
Edward was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I took his outstretched hand but leaned away, scanning
the little crowd that was waiting to see us off.
"Dad?" I asked, my eyes searching.
"Over here," Edward murmured. He pulled me through the guests; they made a pathway for us. We
found Charlie leaning awkwardly against the wall behind everyone else, looking a little like he was hiding.
The red rims around his eyes explained why.
"Oh, Dad!"
I hugged him around the waist, tears streaming again—I was crying so much tonight. He patted my
back.
"There, now. You don't want to miss your plane."
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It was hard to talk about love with Charlie—we were so much alike, always reverting to trivial things to
avoid embarrassing emotional displays. But this was no time for being self-conscious.
"I love you forever, Dad," I told him. "Don't forget that."
"You, too, Bells. Always have, always will."
I kissed his cheek at the same time that he kissed mine.
"Call me," he said.
"Soon," I promised, knowing this was all I could promise. Just a phone call. My father and my mother
could not be allowed to see me again; I would be too different, and much, much too dangerous.
"Go on, then," he said gruffly. "Don't want to be late."
The guests made another aisle for us. Edward pulled me close to his side as we made our escape.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"I am," I said, and I knew that it was true.
Everyone applauded when Edward kissed me on the doorstep. Then he rushed me to the car as the rice
storm began. Most of it went wide, but someone, probably Emmett, threw with uncanny precision, and I
caught a lot of the ricochets off Edward's back.
The car was decorated with more flowers that trailed in streamers along its length, and long gossamer
ribbons that were tied to a dozen shoes—designer shoes that looked brand-new—dangling behind the
bumper.
Edward shielded me from the rice while I climbed in, and then he was in and we were speeding away as
I waved out the window and called "I love you" to the porch, where my families waved back.
The last image I registered was one of my parents. Phil had both arms wrapped tenderly around Renee.
She had one arm tight around his waist but had her free hand reached out to hold Charlie's. So many
different kinds of love, harmonious in this one moment. It seemed a very hopeful picture to me.
Edward squeezed my hand.
"I love you," he said.
I leaned my head against his arm. 'That's why we're here," I quoted him.
He kissed my hair.
As we turned onto the black highway and Edward really hit the accelerator, I heard a noise over the
purr of the engine, coming from the forest behind us. If I could hear it, then he certainly could. But he said
nothing as the sound slowly faded in the distance. I said nothing, either.
The piercing, heartbroken howling grew fainter and then disappeared entirely.
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5. ISLE ESME
"Houston?" I asked, raising my eyebrows when we reached the gate in Seattle.
"Just a stop along the way," Edward assured me with a grin.
It felt like I'd barely fallen asleep when he woke me. I was groggy as he pulled me through the terminals,
struggling to remember how to open my eyes after every blink. It took me a few minutes to catch up with
what was going on when we stopped at the international counter to check in for our next flight.
"Rio de Janeiro?" I asked with slightly more trepidation.
"Another stop," he told me.
The flight to South America was long but comfortable in the wide first-class seat, with Edward's arms
cradled around me. I slept myself out and awoke unusually alert as we circled toward the airport with the
light of the setting sun slanting through the plane's windows.
We didn't stay in the airport to connect with another flight as I'd expected. Instead we took a taxi
through the dark, teeming, living streets of Rio. Unable to understand a word of Edward's Portuguese
instructions to the driver, I guessed that we were off to find a hotel before the next leg of our journey. A
sharp twinge of something very close to stage fright twisted in the pit of my stomach as I considered that.
The taxi continued through the swarming crowds until they thinned somewhat, and we appeared to be
nearing the extreme western edge of the city, heading into the ocean.
We stopped at the docks.
Edward led the way down the long line of white yachts moored in the night-blackened water. The boat
he stopped at was smaller than the others, sleeker, obviously built for speed instead of space. Still
luxurious, though, and more graceful than the rest. He leaped in lightly, despite the heavy bags he carried.
He dropped those on the deck and turned to help me carefully over the edge.
I watched in silence while he prepared the boat for departure, surprised at how skilled and comfortable
he seemed, because he'd never mentioned an interest in boating before. But then again, he was good at
just about everything.
As we headed due east into the open ocean, I reviewed basic geography in my head. As far as I could
remember, there wasn't much east of Brazil… until you got to Africa.
But Edward sped forward while the lights of Rio faded and ultimately disappeared behind us. On his
face was a familiar exhilarated smile, the one produced by any form of speed. The boat plunged through
the waves and I was showered with sea spray.
Finally the curiosity I'd suppressed so long got the best of me.
"Are we going much farther?" I asked.
It wasn't like him to forget that I was human, but I wondered if he planned for us to live on this small
craft for any length of time.
"About another half hour." His eyes took in my hands, clenched on the seat, and he grinned.
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Oh well, I thought to myself. He was a vampire, after all. Maybe we were going to Atlantis.
Twenty minutes later, he called my name over the roar of the engine.
"Bella, look there." He pointed straight ahead.
I saw only blackness at first, and the moon's white trail across the water. But I searched the space
where he pointed until I found a low black shape breaking into the sheen of moonlight on the waves. As I
squinted into the darkness, the silhouette became more detailed. The shape grew into a squat, irregular
triangle, with one side trailing longer than the other before sinking into the waves. We drew closer, and I
could see the outline was feathery, swaying to the light breeze.
And then my eyes refocused and the pieces all made sense: a small island rose out of the water ahead of
us, waving with palm fronds, a beach glowing pale in the light of the moon.
"Where are we?" I murmured in wonder while he shifted course, heading around to the north end of the
island.
He heard me, despite the noise of the engine, and smiled a wide smile that gleamed in the moonlight.
"This is Isle Esme."
The boat slowed dramatically, drawing with precision into position against a short dock constructed of
wooden planks, bleached into whiteness by the moon. The engine cut off, and the silence that followed
was profound. There was nothing but the waves, slapping lightly against the boat, and the rustle of the
breeze in the palms. The air was warm, moist, and fragrant—like the steam left behind after a hot
shower.
"Isle Esme?" My voice was low, but it still sounded too loud as it broke into the quiet night.
"A gift from Carlisle—Esme offered to let us borrow it."
A gift. Who gives an island as a gift? I frowned. I hadn't realized that Edward's extreme generosity was a
learned behavior.
He placed the suitcases on the dock and then turned back, smiling his perfect smile as he reached for
me.
Instead of taking my hand, he pulled me right up into his arms.
"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?'71 asked, breathless, as he sprung lightly out of the
boat.
He grinned. "I'm nothing if not thorough."
Gripping the handles of both huge steamer trunks in one hand and cradling me in the other arm, he
carried me up the dock and onto a pale sand pathway through the dark vegetation.
For a short while it was pitch black in the jungle-like growth, and then I could see a warm light ahead. It
was about at the point when I realized the light was a house—the two bright, perfect squares were wide
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windows framing a front door—that the stage fright attacked again, more forcefully than before, worse
