along with you. And how little time I would need to deal with your mother
if that was the case. Do you understand? Answer yes or no."
"Yes." My voice broke.
"Very good, Bella. Now this is what you have to do. I want you to go to
your mother's house. Next to the phone there will be a number. Call it,
and I'll tell you where to go from there." I already knew where I would
go, and where this would end. But I would follow his instructions
exactly. "Can you do that? Answer yes or no."
"Yes."
"Before noon, please, Bella. I haven't got all day," he said politely.
"Where's Phil?" I asked tersely.
"Ah, be careful now, Bella. Wait until I ask you to speak, please."
I waited.
"It's important, now, that you don't make your friends suspicious when
you go back to them. Tell them that your mother called, and that you
talked her out of coming home for the time being. Now repeat after me,
'Thank you, Mom.' Say it now."
"Thank you, Mom." The tears were coming. I tried to fight them back.
"Say, 'I love you, Mom, I'll see you soon.' Say it now."
"I love you, Mom." My voice was thick. "I'll see you soon," I promised.
"Goodbye, Bella. I look forward to seeing you again." He hung up.
I held the phone to my ear. My joints were frozen with terror — I
couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.
I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my
mother's panic. Seconds ticked by while I fought for control.
Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of
pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored
room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother
alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the
game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was
no way to bargain, nothing I could offer or withhold that could influence
him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.
I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did
no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly,
because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was
absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel
my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from
being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle
it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.
I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the
airport would turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice
away…
I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to
deal with one more thing in private, before Jasper was back.
I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last
glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to
hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash
over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and
went to face Alice.
The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm
and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never
manage improvisation now.
"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced
her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.
"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."
I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.
My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went
to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was
good.
"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I
write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? Leave it at the
house, I mean."
"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at
the seams. I had to keep my emotions under better control.
I went into the bedroom again, and knelt next to the little bedside table
to write.
"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.
I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it
may not work. I am so very, very sorry.
Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be
a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.
And please, please, don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think.
I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you.
Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.
I love you. Forgive me.
Bella
I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually
he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just
this once.
And then I carefully sealed away my heart.
===========================================================================
22. HIDE-AND-SEEK
It had taken much less time than I'd thought — all the terror, the
despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more
slowly than usual. Jasper still hadn't come back when I returned to
Alice. I was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she
would guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.
I would have thought I was far beyond the ability to be surprised, my
thoughts tortured and unstable, but I was surprised when I saw Alice bent
over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands.
"Alice?"
She didn't react when I called her name, but her head was slowly rocking
side to side, and I saw her face. Her eyes were blank, dazed… My thoughts
flew to my mother. Was I already too late?
I hurried to her side, reaching out automatically to touch her hand.
"Alice!" Jasper's voice whipped, and then he was right behind her, his
hands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table.
Across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.
"What is it?" he demanded.
She turned her face away from me, into his chest. "Bella," she said.
"I'm right here," I replied.
Her head twisted around, her eyes locking on mine, their expression still
strangely blank. I realized at once that she hadn't been speaking to me,
she'd been answering Jasper's question.
"What did you see?" I said — and there was no question in my flat,
uncaring voice.
Jasper looked at me sharply. I kept my expression vacant and waited. His
eyes were confused as they flickered swiftly between Alice's face and
mine, feeling the chaos… for I could guess what Alice had seen now.
I felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. I welcomed it, using it to
keep my emotions disciplined, under control.
Alice, too, recovered herself.
"Nothing, really," she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm and
convincing. "Just the same room as before."
She finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "Did you
want breakfast?"
"No, I'll eat at the airport." I was very calm, too. I went to the
bathroom to shower. Almost as if I were borrowing Jasper's strange extra
sense, I could feel Alice's wild — though well-concealed — desperation to
have me out of the room, to be alone with Jasper. So she could tell him
that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail…
I got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. I left my
hair down, swirling around me, covering my face. The peaceful mood Jasper
created worked its way through me and helped me think clearly. Helped me
plan. I dug through my bag until I found my sock full of money. I emptied
it into my pocket.
I was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when we left by seven. I
sat alone this time in the back of the dark car. Alice leaned against the
door, her face toward Jasper but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glances
in my direction every few seconds.
"Alice?" I asked indifferently.
She was wary. "Yes?"
"How does it work? The things that you see?" I stared out the side
window, and my voice sounded bored. "Edward said it wasn't definite… that
things change?" It was harder than I would have thought to say his name.
That must have been what alerted Jasper, why a fresh wave of serenity
filled the car.
"Yes, things change…" she murmured — hopefully, I thought. "Some things
are more certain than others… like the weather. People are harder. I only
see the course they're on while they're on it. Once they change their
minds — make a new decision, no matter how small — the whole future
shifts."
I nodded thoughtfully. "So you couldn't see James in Phoenix until he
decided to come here."
"Yes," she agreed, wary again.
And she hadn't seen me in the mirror room with James until I'd made the
decision to meet him there. I tried not to think about what else she
might have seen. I didn't want my panic to make Jasper more suspicious.
They would be watching me twice as carefully now, anyway, after Alice's
vision. This was going to be impossible.
We got to the airport. Luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds.
Edward's plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, where
most flights landed — so it wasn't surprising that his was. But it was
the terminal I needed: the biggest, the most confusing. And there was a
door on level three that might be the only chance.
We parked on the fourth floor of the huge garage. I led the way, for once
more knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. We took the
elevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. Alice and
Jasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. I could
hear them discussing the pros and cons of New York, Atlanta, Chicago.
Places I'd never seen. And would never see.
I waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe from
tapping. We sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, Jasper
and Alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. Every inch I
shifted in my seat was followed by a quick glance out of the corner of
their eyes. It was hopeless. Should I run? Would they dare to stop me
physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow?
I pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top of
Alice's black leather bag. She looked at me.
"My letter," I said. She nodded, tucking it under the top flap. He would
find it soon enough.
The minutes passed and Edward's arrival grew closer. It was amazing how
every cell in my body seemed to know he was coming, to long for his
coming. That made it very hard. I found myself trying to think of excuses
to stay, to see him first and then make my escape. But I knew that was
impossible if I was going to have any chance to get away.
Several times Alice offered to go get breakfast with me. Later, I told
her, not yet.
I stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived on
time. The flight from Seattle crept closer to the top of the board.
And then, when I had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numbers
changed. His plane was ten minutes early. I had no more time.
"I think I'll eat now," I said quickly.
Alice stood. "I'll come with you."
"Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?" I asked. "I'm feeling a little…" I
didn't finish the sentence. My eyes were wild enough to convey what I
didn't say.
Jasper stood up. Alice's eyes were confused, but — I saw to my relief—
not suspicious. She must be attributing the change in her vision to some
maneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me.
Jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as if
he were guiding me. I pretended a lack of interest in the first few
airport cafes, my head scanning for what I really wanted. And there it
was, around the corner, out of Alice's sharp sight: the level-three
ladies' room.
"Do you mind?" I asked Jasper as we passed. "I'll just be a moment."
"I'll be right here," he said.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I was running. I remembered the time
I had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.
Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and if
Jasper stayed where he said he would, I'd never be in his line of sight.
I didn't look behind me as I ran. This was my only chance, and even if he
saw me, I had to keep going. People stared, but I ignored them. Around
the corner the elevators were waiting, and I dashed forward, throwing my
hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down. I squeezed
in beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure that the
button for level one had been pushed. It was already lit, and the doors
closed.
As soon as the door opened I was off again, to the sound of annoyed
murmurs behind me. I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the
luggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors came
into view. I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet.
I would have only seconds if he was following my scent. I jumped out the
automatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too
slowly.
Along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight.
I had no time. Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone,
or they already had. They would find me in a heartbeat.
A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.
"Wait!" I called, running, waving at the driver.
"This is the shuttle to the Hyatt," the driver said in confusion as he
opened the doors.
"Yes," I huffed, "that's where I'm going." I hurried up the steps.
He looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caring
enough to ask.
Most of the seats were empty. I sat as far from the other travelers as
possible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then the
airport, drifted away. I couldn't help imagining Edward, where he would
stand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail. I
couldn't cry yet, I told myself. I still had a long way to go.
My luck held. In front of the Hyatt, a tired-looking couple was getting
their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. I jumped out of the
shuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. The
tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.
I told the surprised cabbie my mother's address. "I need to get there as
soon as possible."
"That's in Scottsdale," he complained.
I threw four twenties over the seat.
"Will that be enough?"
"Sure, kid, no problem."
I sat back against the seat, folding my arms across my lap. The familiar
city began to rush around me, but I didn't look out the windows. I
exerted myself to maintain control. I was determined not to lose myself
at this point, now that my plan was successfully completed. There was no
point in indulging in more terror, more anxiety. My path was set. I just
had to follow it now.
So, instead of panicking, I closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes'
drive with Edward.
I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edward. I visualized
how I would stand on my toes, the sooner to see his face. How quickly,
how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us.
And then I would run to close those last few feet between us — reckless
as always — and I would be in his marble arms, finally safe.
I wondered where we would have gone. North somewhere, so he could be
outside in the day. Or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay in
the sun together again. I imagined him by the shore, his skin sparkling
like the sea. It wouldn't matter how long we had to hide. To be trapped
in a hotel room with him would be a kind of heaven. So many questions I
still had for him. I could talk to him forever, never sleeping, never
leaving his side.
I could see his face so clearly now… almost hear his voice. And, despite
all the horror and hopelessness, I was fleetingly happy. So involved was
I in my escapist daydreams, I lost all track of the seconds racing by.
"Hey, what was the number?"
The cabbie's question punctured my fantasy, letting all the colors run
out of my lovely delusions. Fear, bleak and hard, was waiting to fill the
empty space they left behind.
"Fifty-eight twenty-one." My voice sounded strangled. The cabbie looked
at me, nervous that I was having an episode or something.
"Here we are, then." He was anxious to get me out of his car, probably
hoping I wouldn't ask for my change.
"Thank you," I whispered. There was no need to be afraid, I reminded
myself. The house was empty. I had to hurry; my mom was waiting for me,
frightened, depending on me.
I ran to the door, reaching up automatically to grab the key under the
eave. I unlocked the door. It was dark inside, empty, normal. I ran to
the phone, turning on the kitchen light on my way. There, on the
whiteboard, was a ten-digit number written in a small, neat hand. My
fingers stumbled over the keypad, making mistakes. I had to hang up and
start again. I concentrated only on the buttons this time, carefully
pressing each one in turn. I was successful. I held the phone to my ear
with a shaking hand. It rang only once.
"Hello, Bella," that easy voice answered. "That was very quick. I'm
impressed."
"Is my mom all right?"
"She's perfectly fine. Don't worry, Bella, I have no quarrel with her.
Unless you didn't come alone, of course." Light, amused.
"I'm alone." I'd never been more alone in my entire life.
"Very good. Now, do you know the ballet studio just around the corner
from your home?"
"Yes. I know how to get there."
"Well, then, I'll see you very soon."
I hung up.
I ran from the room, through the door, out into the baking heat.
There was no time to look back at my house, and I didn't want to see it
as it was now — empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. The last
person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.
From the corner of my eye, I could almost see my mother standing in the
shade of the big eucalyptus tree where I'd played as a child. Or kneeling
by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox, the cemetery of all the
flowers she'd tried to grow. The memories were better than any reality I
would see today. But I raced away from them, toward the corner, leaving
everything behind me.
I felt so slow, like I was running through wet sand — I couldn't seem to
get enough purchase from the concrete. I tripped several times, once
falling, catching myself with my hands, scraping them on the sidewalk,
and then lurching up to plunge forward again. But at last I made it to
the corner. Just another street now; I ran, sweat pouring down my face,
gasping. The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the
white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely
than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green,
protective forests of Forks… of home.
When I rounded the last corner, onto Cactus, I could see the studio,
looking just as I remembered it. The parking lot in front was empty, the
vertical blinds in all the windows drawn. I couldn't run anymore — I
couldn't breathe; exertion and fear had gotten the best of me. I thought
of my mother to keep my feet moving, one in front of the other.
As I got closer, I could see the sign inside the door. It was handwritten
on hot pink paper; it said the dance studio was closed for spring break.
I touched the handle, tugged on it cautiously. It was unlocked. I fought
to catch my breath, and opened the door.
The lobby was dark and empty, cool, the air conditioner thrumming. The
plastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls, and the carpet
smelled like shampoo. The west dance floor was dark, I could see through
the open viewing window. The east dance floor, the bigger room, was lit.
But the blinds were closed on the window.
Terror seized me so strongly that I was literally trapped by it. I
couldn't make my feet move forward.
And then my mother's voice called.
"Bella? Bella?" That same tone of hysterical panic. I sprinted to the
door, to the sound of her voice.
"Bella, you scared me! Don't you ever do that to me again!" Her voice
continued as I ran into the long, high-ceilinged room.
I stared around me, trying to find where her voice was coming from. I
heard her laugh, and I whirled to the sound.
There she was, on the TV screen, tousling my hair in relief. It was
Thanksgiving, and I was twelve. We'd gone to see my grandmother in
California, the last year before she died. We went to the beach one day,
and I'd leaned too far over the edge of the pier. She'd seen my feet
flailing, trying to reclaim my balance. "Bella? Bella?" she'd called to
me in fear.
And then the TV screen was blue.
I turned slowly. He was standing very still by the back exit, so still I
hadn't noticed him at first. In his hand was a remote control. We stared
at each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.
He walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remote
down next to the VCR. I turned carefully to watch him.
"Sorry about that, Bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn't
really have to be involved in all this?" His voice was courteous, kind.
And suddenly it hit me. My mother was safe. She was still in Florida.
She'd never gotten my message. She'd never been terrified by the dark red
eyes in the abnormally pale face before me. She was safe.
"Yes," I answered, my voice saturated with relief.
"You don't sound angry that I tricked you."
"I'm not." My sudden high made me brave. What did it matter now? It would
soon be over. Charlie and Mom would never be harmed, would never have to
fear. I felt almost giddy. Some analytical part of my mind warned me that
I was dangerously close to snapping from the stress.
"How odd. You really mean it." His dark eyes assessed me with interest.
The irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges.
Thirsty. "I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be
quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It's
amazing — some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at
all."
He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me
curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very
average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just
the white skin, the circled eyes I'd grown so used to. He wore a pale
blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.
"I suppose you're going to tell me that your boyfriend will avenge you?"
he asked, hopefully it seemed to me.
"No, I don't think so. At least, I asked him not to."
"And what was his reply to that?"
"I don't know." It was strangely easy to converse with this genteel
hunter. "I left him a letter."
"How romantic, a last letter. And do you think he will honor it?" His
voice was just a little harder now, a hint of sarcasm marring his polite
tone.
"I hope so."
"Hmmm. Well, our hopes differ then. You see, this was all just a little
too easy, too quick. To be quite honest, I'm disappointed. I expected a
much greater challenge. And, after all, I only needed a little luck."
I waited in silence.
"When Victoria couldn't get to your father, I had her find out more about
you. There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down
when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. So,
after I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your
mother a visit. I'd heard you say you were going home. At first, I never
dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very
predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And
wouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be
when you're hiding — the place that you said you'd be.
"But of course I wasn't sure, it was just a hunch. I usually get a
feeling about the prey that I'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will. I
listened to your message when I got to your mother's house, but of course
I couldn't be sure where you'd called from. It was very useful to have
your number, but you could have been in Antarctica for all I knew, and
the game wouldn't work unless you were close by.
"Then your boyfriend got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring
