I traced a blue hand, a woman combing her hair, a cat stretching. But
when the pale red circle became a staring eye, I looked away.
As the afternoon wore on, I went back to bed, simply for something to do.
I hoped that by myself in the dark, I could give in to the terrible fears
that hovered on the edge of my consciousness, unable to break through
under Jasper's careful supervision.
But Alice followed me casually, as if by some coincidence she had grown
tired of the front room at the same time. I was beginning to wonder
exactly what sort of instructions Edward had given her. I lay across the
bed, and she sat, legs folded, next to me. I ignored her at first,
suddenly tired enough to sleep. But after a few minutes, the panic that
had held off in Jasper's presence began to make itself known. I gave up
on the idea of sleep quickly then, curling up into a small ball, wrapping
my arms around my legs.
"Alice?" I asked.
"Yes?"
I kept my voice very calm. "What do you think they're doing?"
"Carlisle wanted to lead the tracker as far north as possible, wait for
him to get close, and then turn and ambush him. Esme and Rosalie were
supposed to head west as long as they could keep the female behind them.
If she turned around, they were to head back to Forks and keep an eye on
your dad. So I imagine things are going well if they can't call. It means
the tracker is close enough that they don't want him to overhear."
"And Esme?"
"I think she must be back in Forks. She won't call if there's any chance
the female will overhear. I expect they're all just being very careful."
"Do you think they're safe, really?"
"Bella, how many times do we have to tell you that there's no danger to
us?"
"Would you tell me the truth, though?"
"Yes. I will always tell you the truth." Her voice was earnest.
I deliberated for a moment, and decided she meant it.
"Tell me then… how do you become a vampire?"
My question caught her off guard. She was quiet. I rolled over to look at
her, and her expression seemed ambivalent.
"Edward doesn't want me to tell you that," she said firmly, but I sensed
she didn't agree.
"That's not fair. I think I have a right to know."
"I know."
I looked at her, waiting.
She sighed. "He'll be extremely angry."
"It's none of his business. This is between you and me. Alice, as a
friend, I'm begging you." And we were friends now, somehow — as she must
have known we would be all along.
She looked at me with her splendid, wise eyes… choosing.
"I'll tell you the mechanics of it," she said finally, "but I don't
remember it myself, and I've never done it or seen it done, so keep in
mind that I can only tell you the theory."
I waited.
"As predators, we have a glut of weapons in our physical arsenal — much,
much more than really necessary. The strength, the speed, the acute
senses, not to mention those of us like Edward, Jasper, and I, who have
extra senses as well. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are
physically attractive to our prey."
I was very still, remembering how pointedly Edward had demonstrated the
same concept for me in the meadow.
She smiled a wide, ominous smile. "We have another fairly superfluous
weapon. We're also venomous," she said, her teeth glistening. "The venom
doesn't kill — it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading
through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much
physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that
close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions.
Carlisle, for example."
"So… if the venom is left to spread…" I murmured.
"It takes a few days for the transformation to be complete, depending on
how much venom is in the bloodstream, how close the venom enters to the
heart. As long as the heart keeps beating, the poison spreads, healing,
changing the body as it moves through it. Eventually the heart stops, and
the conversion is finished. But all that time, every minute of it, a
victim would be wishing for death."
I shivered.
"It's not pleasant, you see."
"Edward said that it was very hard to do… I don't quite understand," I
said.
"We're also like sharks in a way. Once we taste the blood, or even smell
it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Sometimes
impossible. So you see, to actually bite someone, to taste the blood, it
would begin the frenzy. It's difficult on both sides — the blood-lust on
the one hand, the awful pain on the other."
"Why do you think you don't remember?"
"I don't know. For everyone else, the pain of transformation is the
sharpest memory they have of their human life. I remember nothing of
being human." Her voice was wistful.
We lay silently, wrapped in our individual meditations.
The seconds ticked by, and I had almost forgotten her presence, I was so
enveloped in my thoughts.
Then, without any warning, Alice leaped from the bed, landing lightly on
her feet. My head jerked up as I stared at her, startled.
"Something's changed." Her voice was urgent, and she wasn't talking to me
anymore.
She reached the door at the same time Jasper did. He had obviously heard
our conversation and her sudden exclamation. He put his hands on her
shoulders and guided her back to the bed, sitting her on the edge.
"What do you see?" he asked intently, staring into her eyes. Her eyes
were focused on something very far away. I sat close to her, leaning in
to catch her low, quick voice.
"I see a room. It's long, and there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is
wooden. He's in the room, and he's waiting. There's gold… a gold stripe
across the mirrors."
"Where is the room?"
"I don't know. Something is missing — another decision hasn't been made
yet."
"How much time?"
"It's soon. He'll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all
depends. He's waiting for something. And he's in the dark now."
Jasper's voice was calm, methodical, as he questioned her in a practiced
way. "What is he doing?"
"He's watching TV… no, he's running a VCR, in the dark, in another place."
"Can you see where he is?"
"No, it's too dark."
"And the mirror room, what else is there?"
"Just the mirrors, and the gold. It's a band, around the room. And
there's a black table with a big stereo, and a TV. He's touching the VCR
there, but he doesn't watch the way he does in the dark room. This is the
room where he waits." Her eyes drifted, then focused on Jasper's face.
"There's nothing else?"
She shook her head. They looked at each other, motionless.
"What does it mean?" I asked.
Neither of them answered for a moment, then Jasper looked at me.
"It means the tracker's plans have changed. He's made a decision that
will lead him to the mirror room, and the dark room."
"But we don't know where those rooms are?"
"No."
"But we do know that he won't be in the mountains north of Washington,
being hunted. He'll elude them." Alice's voice was bleak.
"Should we call?" I asked. They traded a serious look, undecided.
And the phone rang.
Alice was across the room before I could lift my head to look at it.
She pushed a button and held the phone to her ear, but she didn't speak
first.
"Carlisle," she breathed. She didn't seem surprised or relieved, the way
I felt.
"Yes," she said, glancing at me. She listened for a long moment.
"I just saw him." She described again the vision she'd seen. "Whatever
made him get on that plane… it was leading him to those rooms." She
paused. "Yes," Alice said into the phone, and then she spoke to me.
"Bella?"
She held the phone out toward me. I ran to it.
"Hello?" I breathed.
"Bella," Edward said.
"Oh, Edward! I was so worried."
"Bella," he sighed in frustration, "I told you not to worry about
anything but yourself." It was so unbelievably good to hear his voice. I
felt the hovering cloud of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke.
"Where are you?"
"We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry — we lost him. He seems
suspicious of us — he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't
hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now — it looks like he got on a
plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over." I could hear
Alice filling in Jasper behind me, her quick words blurring together into
a humming noise.
"I know. Alice saw that he got away."
"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to
you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."
"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"
"Yes — the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while
Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid. He's
safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."
"What is she doing?"
"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town
during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads
around town, the school… she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to
find."
"And you're sure Charlie's safe?"
"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If
the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."
"I miss you," I whispered.
"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self
away with you."
"Come and get it, then," I challenged.
"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." His voice
was hard.
"I love you," I reminded him.
"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love
you, too?"
"Yes, I can, actually."
"I'll come for you soon."
"I'll be waiting."
As soon as the phone went dead, the cloud of depression began to creep
over me again.
I turned to give the phone back to Alice and found her and Jasper bent
over the table, where Alice was sketching on a piece of hotel stationery.
I leaned on the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder.
She drew a room: long, rectangular, with a thinner, square section at the
back. The wooden planks that made up the floor stretched lengthwise
across the room. Down the walls were lines denoting the breaks in the
mirrors. And then, wrapping around the walls, waist high, a long band.
The band Alice said was gold.
"It's a ballet studio," I said, suddenly recognizing the familiar shapes.
They looked at me, surprised.
"Do you know this room?" Jasper's voice sounded calm, but there was an
undercurrent of something I couldn't identify. Alice bent her head to her
work, her hand flying across the page now, the shape of an emergency exit
taking shape against the back wall, the stereo and TV on a low table by
the front right corner.
"It looks like a place I used to go for dance lessons — when I was eight
or nine. It was shaped just the same." I touched the page where the
square section jutted out, narrowing the back part of the room. "That's
where the bathrooms were — the doors were through the other dance floor.
But the stereo was here" — I pointed to the left corner — "it was older,
and there wasn't a TV. There was a window in the waiting room — you would
see the room from this perspective if you looked through it."
Alice and Jasper were staring at me.
"Are you sure it's the same room?" Jasper asked, still calm.
"No, not at all — I suppose most dance studios would look the same — the
mirrors, the bar." I traced my finger along the ballet bar set against
the mirrors. "It's just the shape that looked familiar." I touched the
door, set in exactly the same place as the one I remembered.
"Would you have any reason to go there now?" Alice asked, breaking my
reverie.
"No, I haven't been there in almost ten years. I was a terrible dancer —
they always put me in the back for recitals," I admitted.
"So there's no way it could be connected with you?" Alice asked intently.
"No, I don't even think the same person owns it. I'm sure it's just
another dance studio, somewhere."
"Where was the studio you went to?" Jasper asked in a casual voice.
"It was just around the corner from my mom's house. I used to walk there
after school…" I said, my voice trailing off. I didn't miss the look they
exchanged.
"Here in Phoenix, then?" His voice was still casual.
"Yes," I whispered. "Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus."
We all sat in silence, staring at the drawing.
"Alice, is that phone safe?"
"Yes," she reassured me. "The number would just trace back to Washington."
"Then I can use it to call my mom."
"I thought she was in Florida."
"She is — but she's coming home soon, and she can't come back to that
house while…" My voice trembled. I was thinking about something Edward
had said, about the red-haired female at Charlie's house, at the school,
where my records would be.
"How will you reach her?"
"They don't have a permanent number except at the house — she's supposed
to check her messages regularly."
"Jasper?" Alice asked.
He thought about it. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt — be
sure you don't say where you are, of course."
I reached eagerly for the phone and dialed the familiar number. It rang
four times, and then I heard my mom's breezy voice telling me to leave a
message.
"Mom," I said after the beep, "it's me. Listen, I need you to do
something. It's important. As soon as you get this message, call me at
this number." Alice was already at my side, writing the number for me on
the bottom of her picture. I read it carefully, twice. "Please don't go
anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay, but I have to talk
to you right away, no matter how late you get this call, all right? I
love you, Mom. Bye." I closed my eyes and prayed with all my might that
no unforeseen change of plans would bring her home before she got my
message.
I settled into the sofa, nibbling on a plate of leftover fruit,
anticipating a long evening. I thought about calling Charlie, but I
wasn't sure if I should be home by now or not. I concentrated on the
news, watching out for stories about Florida, or about spring training —
strikes or hurricanes or terrorist attacks — anything that might send
them home early.
Immortality must grant endless patience. Neither Jasper nor Alice seemed
to feel the need to do anything at all. For a while, Alice sketched the
vague outline of the dark room from her vision, as much as she could see
in the light from the TV. But when she was done, she simply sat, looking
at the blank walls with her timeless eyes. Jasper, too, seemed to have no
urge to pace, or peek through the curtains, or run screaming out the
door, the way I did.
I must have fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for the phone to ring
again. The touch of Alice's cold hands woke me briefly as she carried me
to the bed, but I was unconscious again before my head hit the pillow.
===========================================================================
21. PHONE CALL
I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting
the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my bed and
listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That
they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my
feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and
Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while
Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't look up when I entered, too
engrossed in Alice's work.
I crept to Jasper's side to peek.
"Did she see something more?" I asked him quietly.
"Yes. Something's brought him back to the room with the VCR, but it's
light now."
I watched as Alice drew a square room with dark beams across its low
ceiling. The walls were paneled in wood, a little too dark, out of date.
The floor had a dark carpet with a pattern in it. There was a large
window against the south wall, and an opening through the west wall led
to the living room. One side of that entrance was stone — a large tan
stone fireplace that was open to both rooms. The focus of the room from
this perspective, the TV and VCR, balanced on a too-small wooden stand,
were in the southwest corner of the room. An aged sectional sofa curved
around in front of the TV, a round coffee table in front of it.
"The phone goes there," I whispered, pointing.
Two pairs of eternal eyes stared at me.
"That's my mother's house."
Alice was already off the couch, phone in hand, dialing. I stared at the
precise rendering of my mother's family room. Uncharacteristically,
Jasper slid closer to me. He lightly touched his hand to my shoulder, and
the physical contact seemed to make his calming influence stronger. The
panic stayed dull, unfocused.
Alice's lips were trembling with the speed of her words, the low buzzing
impossible to decipher. I couldn't concentrate.
"Bella," Alice said. I looked at her numbly.
"Bella, Edward is coming to get you. He and Emmett and Carlisle are going
to take you somewhere, to hide you for a while."
"Edward is coming?" The words were like a life vest, holding my head
above the flood.
"Yes, he's catching the first flight out of Seattle. We'll meet him at
the airport, and you'll leave with him."
"But, my mother… he came here for my mother, Alice!" Despite Jasper, the
hysteria bubbled up in my voice.
"Jasper and I will stay till she's safe."
"I can't win, Alice. You can't guard everyone I know forever. Don't you
see what he's doing? He's not tracking me at all. He'll find someone,
he'll hurt someone I love… Alice, I can't —"
"We'll catch him, Bella," she assured me.
"And what if you get hurt, Alice? Do you think that's okay with me? Do
you think it's only my human family he can hurt me with?"
Alice looked meaningfully at Jasper. A deep, heavy fog of lethargy washed
over me, and my eyes closed without my permission. My mind struggled
against the fog, realizing what was happening. I forced my eyes open and
stood up, stepping away from Jasper's hand.
"I don't want to go back to sleep," I snapped.
I walked to my room and shut the door, slammed it really, so I could be
free to go to pieces privately. This time Alice didn't follow me. For
three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking.
My mind went around in circles, trying to come up with some way out of
this nightmare. There was no escape, no reprieve. I could see only one
possible end looming darkly in my future. The only question was how many
other people would be hurt before I reached it.
The only solace, the only hope I had left, was knowing that I would see
Edward soon. Maybe, if I could just see his face again, I would also be
able to see the solution that eluded me now.
When the phone rang, I returned to the front room, a little ashamed of my
behavior. I hoped I hadn't offended either of them, that they would know
how grateful I was for the sacrifices they were making on my account.
Alice was talking as rapidly as ever, but what caught my attention was
that, for the first time, Jasper was not in the room. I looked at the
clock — it was five-thirty in the morning.
"They're just boarding their plane," Alice told me. "They'll land at
nine-forty-five." Just a few more hours to keep breathing till he was
here.
"Where's Jasper?"
"He went to check out."
"You aren't staying here?"
"No, we're relocating closer to your mother's house."
My stomach twisted uneasily at her words.
But the phone rang again, distracting me. She looked surprised, but I was
already walking forward, reaching hopefully for the phone.
"Hello?" Alice asked. "No, she's right here." She held the phone out to
me. Your mother, she mouthed.
"Hello?"
"Bella? Bella?" It was my mother's voice, in a familiar tone I had heard
a thousand times in my childhood, anytime I'd gotten too close to the
edge of the sidewalk or strayed out of her sight in a crowded place. It
was the sound of panic.
I sighed. I'd been expecting this, though I'd tried to make my message as
unalarming as possible without lessening the urgency of it.
"Calm down, Mom," I said in my most soothing voice, walking slowly away
from Alice. I wasn't sure if I could lie as convincingly with her eyes on
me. "Everything is fine, okay? Just give me a minute and I'll explain
everything, I promise."
I paused, surprised that she hadn't interrupted me yet.
"Mom?"
"Be very careful not to say anything until I tell you to." The voice I
heard now was as unfamiliar as it was unexpected. It was a man's tenor
voice, a very pleasant, generic voice — the kind of voice that you heard
in the background of luxury car commercials. He spoke very quickly.
"Now, I don't need to hurt your mother, so please do exactly as I say,
and she'll be fine." He paused for a minute while I listened in mute
horror. "That's very good," he congratulated. "Now repeat after me, and
do try to sound natural. Please say, 'No, Mom, stay where you are.'"
"No, Mom, stay where you are." My voice was barely more than a whisper.
"I can see this is going to be difficult." The voice was amused, still
light and friendly. "Why don't you walk into another room now so your
face doesn't ruin everything? There's no reason for your mother to
suffer. As you're walking, please say, 'Mom, please listen to me.' Say it
now."
"Mom, please listen to me," my voice pleaded. I walked very slowly to the
bedroom, feeling Alice's worried stare on my back. I shut the door behind
me, trying to think clearly through the terror that gripped my brain.
"There now, are you alone? Just answer yes or no."
"Yes."
"But they can still hear you, I'm sure."
"Yes."
"All right, then," the agreeable voice continued, "say, 'Mom, trust me.'"
"Mom, trust me."
"This worked out rather better than I expected. I was prepared to wait,
but your mother arrived ahead of schedule. It's easier this way, isn't
it? Less suspense, less anxiety for you."
I waited.
"Now I want you to listen very carefully. I'm going to need you to get
away from your friends; do you think you can do that? Answer yes or no."
"No."
"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you would be a little more creative
than that. Do you think you could get away from them if your mother's
life depended on it? Answer yes or no."
Somehow, there had to be a way. I remembered that we were going to the
airport. Sky Harbor International Airport: crowded, confusingly laid out…
"Yes."
"That's better. I'm sure it won't be easy, but if I get the slightest
hint that you have any company, well, that would be very bad for your
mother," the friendly voice promised. "You must know enough about us by
now to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone
